Out of deep love, if your girlfriend had sex with her ex while in a relationship with you, would you forgive her? Let's just say that she's pretty devoted to you now.

Its just so easy to say ForgivE her, everyone does mistake, its human life blah blah... but in REALITY its tough, really tough. I can never imagine my GF sleeping with someone else, Oh man how disgusiting it sound.

Well, something similar happend to me couple of years back. I was dating one girl (European), to be honest, I did not like her but it was a kind of FUN RELATIONSHIP. We enjoyed being together and sometime did not meet even for a month thugh we live in same city and sometime our meetings was regular like everyday.

Gradually, she started giving much care and calls 10 times a day, I hardly responded her coz I did not have strong feelings for her. AFter few weeks in one meeting she disclosed that she is in love with me. ( I was not surprised and did not take serioulsy). For me she was just the girl next door, nothing more than that.




One day she sent me really long mail that she slpet with some other guy, she was drunk and she feels so sorry for that. She continued that she stil loves me as before and want to be honest with me so she told everything. Having said that, if that was her mistake, she was ready for any punishment.

After that mail, I went really mad. I never thought I cd be so anxious with that matter. Every night i imagine her having sex with some other guy. I put somone else in my foot who is having fun with her.......I SPENT SLEEPLESS NIGHTS. I did not know what was that? Ego? Jealousy? Pride? Possesiveness? being Stupid man or just it was normal but I felt realy humiliated. How could I forgive her and the point here is I even did not love her. Oh mY god what could have been the scenario if I was in LOVE??? and moreover if the girl were Nepali :........

Harman, I can understand what is going on you, man it felt really sad.......though u say I wil forgive and forget. wELL, U MAY forgive but DIFFICULT to forget.........it haunts man.....


Well, after that incident, I met her couple of times and broke up. I was never in love with her but I think I was stupid to be so Possessive. Hmmm, now im dating one more Westerner but so far things r going welll but don know how long............LIFE goes ON.........

------------

Anyway, Good luck man

Dude why do you care what we think? In the in you are the one who is gonna have to make a decision. People have different views and if you really love her you will forgive her but your trust will be gone and there will be tons of fights. Sooo you tell me you gonna forgive her?
peace

typo.........in the END not in
peace

maybe she was missing some gooood stuff....hhheehhehee...what does that make you?.....Try harder my boy...hahahhahahhahaaaahaahahahhaaa

just jokin

This is when you use that gun you bought at the store.

kill'em both! right on the head!

im off to party! :)

harman - acutally after thinking about it a little bit more i take back what i said ke!! :S i really don't know what i would do!!
:)

ImI - what?? what?? (wink,wink) :D

Harman -

As I dont have sufficient data infront of me I will refrain from commenting on the specifics of your case. But I do want to say my best wishes are with you and I sincerley hope you will the answers and find the peace you deserve.

I do have a generic commment, somewhat on the lines of what Simplegal alluded to, and with an emphasis of the emotional rather than sexual aspect of cheating. A lot of times when women cheat on men, there is tendency for people, both the man affected and others judging to think the man may not have been able to sexually satisfy the woman and therefor she chose to sleep with someone else.

This may be true in some cases but not always so. It is also probable for a woman to "cheat" in order to get the emotional comfort that she may not find in the current relationship. It could very well be the woman was sexually satisfied with the man but she chose to have a relationshio of outside of marriage because her partner could not connect to her emotionally. So along comes this other guy who can. Because men tend to think about and desire sex more than women (the stats prove this out) , it is possible the other guy could have asked the woman for sex and she might have obliged, not necessarily becasue she was sexually attracted to him, but because she feared saying no would mean loosing the emotional support she had found. That's how many affairs start.

Again, as I said at the begining, this is a generic observation and not specific to any example on this thread. But the key point here is men should not look at it as a sexual shortcoming on their part if the women cheats on them without making an effort to understand all the reasons.

And as to why men might cheat, thats a topic for another time ;)

As for forgiveness, to each his own. Whether you can forgive or not, besides being a personal choice, is often driven by circumstances. If you are 40 have two kids and your wife or husband cheats on you, some would argue your response might be different than if you were 25, not married, and your girl/boy friend cheated on you. You may need to be more forgiving and tolerant when the stakes are higher. I personally have a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to cheating. I'd argue the best way to forgive some one who cheats is to leave them - but thats just me.

There is a quite a bit of litterature on this subject out there that I'd recommend people check out (googling being a great starting point)

Finally, this quote from Hellen Keller: " When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."

To add to what Captain Haddock said, it really makes sense cause harman you have to look at the fact that she cheated on you for her ex it wasn’t some other random guy she met ke!! so she might still have been pretty emotionally attached to him!! Just a thought! :D

To add to Captain Haddock‘s quote here’s another one for you harman!! :)
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” - Mahatma Gandhi

I agree - forgiveness is very powerful. But forgiving doesn't have to mean continuing the relationship. If people can continue, well and good, if they can't, then no big deal - there are plenty of other gals/guys out there (as the case may be).

FORGIVE. ARE YOU SERIOUS OR ARE YOU KIDDING?
IF YOU ARE A MAN YOU SHOULD KICK THAT BITCH OFF YOUR LIFE.

Harman,
Forgiving her is the best idea, but that doesn't mean you have to be with her. It's just not worth to continue your relationship with her anymore. What's the guarantee that she wouldn't do that again? How often can you forgive her or how often can you go through this again?
Believe me, the more you love a girl and forgive her, the more she will continue hurting you. To love her at this point means to show that she is your weakness. That's the worst thing you could do, let a girl know your weakness.
Forgiving for everything makes you a human, not being with her again makes you a man. Don't fight, don't hate, just leave.
People are commenting that it may be the emotional thing or the sexual desire that you may not have fulfilled. Believe me, if you can't fulfill it now, you can't fulfill it again.
Finally, be with her if you want to live in pain. Forgive and forget if you want to live happily.
Jai Sambhu, Om Shanti, Shanti...

no matter how much she loves you, she is cheating on you by having a relationship with somebody else. Dump her....

Gajedi and Captain Haddock - i can understand what you're saying but then his gf will always think that he never forgave her cause he left her ni!!! :(

here's another quote for you harman:
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on!" - Robert Frost

well,
it's not about how much she loves you, to me the real question is: can i live without her? i am tryin to answer this question by putting myself in his shoes and i was about to write " if i were him, i would shoot her to death". but that would just be a 'rush of blood' answer. in reality, i would not able to do that. and if i am in love with her, i would not be able to live without her at any cost-that's my point. so at the end of the day, i would end up forgiving her. i don't think i would have a choice....

LooTe

aww...looti!! :D
but then don't you think that if you really loved her that you would be able to do what's best for her and what she wants and not look at what the separation would do to you?

nails sweetie,
very true. i am assuming that she is devoted to him now as harman has put forth. i mean i am not trying to act as a sane or mahatma gandhi here in answering this. i am looking at it from a rather self-centered approach, i have to admit! and to me, if i love someone, i will not be able to live without her. she will be my oxygen. so i will not have any choice other than patching up and love her more so that she realizes herself what she did to him once.

LooTe

right i see looti!! :D

It is perfect time to find another gal...
best of luck...
no forgiveness from my side...

Umm no!! are you crazy?? why would you forgive someone who just made a joke out of your love?? Just forget her dude... sometimes you just have to let go!!

~ashra~

SO>>>>>
DID YOU GET ANSWER?????!!!!
You never get answer ..when you ask your personal questions in the public forum!!!
hahahaha..
CONFUSeeeed!!!