Got this in e-mail. Wanna share with you guys...

Ek sardar apne marriage certificate ko 1 ghante se dekh raha tha......
WIFE: TUSSI ITNNI DER SE KI DEKH RAHE HO?
SARDAR:EXPIRY DATE DHOOND RAHA HU.....

A donkey kicked sardar & ran away Sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a
zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha
hai'.

Teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times
Sardar: Lara Dutta marries Brian Lara and she becomes Lara Lara

Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jay mata di.

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai
jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

Inspector to Santa: Phansi se pehle, bata teri aakhri ichha kya hai?
Santa: Mere pair upar aur sir neeche kar k phansi de do!

Santa proposing a girl: Darling kya tum mujse shadi karogi?
Girl: Tameez se baat karo.
Santa: Behan ji, kya aap mujhse shaadi karoge?

Banta: Meri biwi mujhe chor ke chali gayi.
Santa: Tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Banta: Arre yaar, Sagi behan ki tarah rakhta tha

Banta joins army, given AK 47. He's puzzled & asks
: Sir, yeh bandook ki nali samne rakhun ya ulta?
Major: Kisi bhi taraf rakho, faida desh ka hi hoga

Santa: Bus stand jane k kitne paise?
Rikshawala: 10 Rs
Santa: 2Rs mein chalega to theek hai
Rikshawala: 2Rs mein kaun le k jayega?
Santa: Peeche baith main lekar jata hoon.

Santa: Main aur meri girlfriend shaadi kar rahe hain.
Banta: Wow, Kab?
Santa: Meri 7 Dec ko aur uski 13 Jan ko.

Santa: What is the similarity between Bill Gates n Me?
Banta: Don't know.
Santa: Well.. He never comes to my house & I never go 2 his!

Sardarji :I want to stich curtain for my computer
Tailor : Why curtain for computer
Sardarji: I got Windows installed on my computer

Teacher asks Who is Raja Ram Mohan Roy?
Sardaarji :They all r 4 best friends

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose IS that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: that was tipu's skeleton when he was child .

Interviewer: what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR --

Sardar went in a hotel. To wash hands he went to the washbasin. There he
started washing the basin. Seeing this, the manager asked what was he
doing.
Sardar pointed towards the board " WASH BASIN "

Pappu, while filling up a form: dad, what should I write for Mother
tongue.?
Santa: very long! --------------

Seeing santa singh depressed one of his friends asks him.
"Oye why r u sad?" ....
To which santa replies ..."I lost 300 rs in bet." ...
His friend ask hims..."How?"
Santa singh says.."I bet on india for Rs 200...But unfortunately India
lost"
His friend queries.."But u said 300 rs..."
Santa singh answers..."I again bet for india for rs 100 in the highlights
of the match"

Santa and banta find three hand grenades and decide to take them to the
police station.
"What if one of them explodes before we get there?" Asks banta.
"Don't worry about it," says santa. "We'll just lie and tell them we only
found two."

Santa and banta jungle mein Saamne aayaa sher
Banta ne sher ki aakhon main matthi phenki Aur bhaagne lagaa aur santa ko
bhi bhaagne ko kahaa Santa:main kyun bhaagu matthi to tune phenki hai!!! -

Museum Administrator: That's a 500 year old statue u've broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

Lady Doc: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon
ghoorte ho?
Santa: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am .

A sardar ji photographer focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function,
suddenly all relatives beat him why?
He said 'SMILE PLEASE'

Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..

Banta joins army, given AK 47. He's puzzled & asks
: Sir, yeh bandook ki nali samne rakhun ya ulta?
Major: Kisi bhi taraf rakho, faida desh ka hi hoga

 

 

>>>Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai
jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.<<<

Thanks for sharing OCRam

One day a sardar bought a new car.... he told his mom that he is taking his new car for a ride..,
he came home after few days all weary..,
then his mom asks him... what happened to you puttar!! what took you so long and you look worn out too!!
he replied.., kya bataye maji ye gaadi wale log vi kaise kaise gaadi banate hai!! aage jane wande 4 gear aur pichhe wande sirf 1 gear!!

Santa to Banta: Aare yaar apni bibi se pyar karte waqt khidki ki parde laga lia karo. kal tum dono ko sab ne bahar se dekh lia tha..
Banta: Bhagwan ka lakh lakh sukra hai!! mein to bach gaya yaar!! kal mein ghar par hi nahi tha!!

great ones LOL....

heres one..................after saying goodnight to his wife sardar goes to sleep but wakes up with a man beside him..........he askes him who he is and the man replies that he is st jones and tells him that he is dead. Sardar starts to cry and whine about his life being incomplete, his wife and kids and all his misery. St jones looks carefully to his big book and finds out that there has been a mistake so he decides to sent sardar back. But gives him an option of returning back as a hen or a dog inhis own house. Since they were vegetarians and the dog was hated in his house he chooses to be a hen. Next thing he opens his eyes he finds himself in as a chicken.....something is trying to come out of his ass. he panicks and then a rooster comes along. Sardar as a chicken  askes him in panic whats happening to him. The rooster explains to him that he was about to lay an egg because he was a hen. So the rooster tells him cluck twice and push hard. So sardar(hen) clucks twice and pushes hard and wow.....a white pearl like egg comes out . And it felt soooo good ......he feels like he got more eggs comming out so the rooster tells him to cluck twice everytime and push hard.......Then sardar does what he says and lays around 4 eggs clucking twice and pushing hard ......al of a sudden he gets a slap from his wife who is yelling on top of her lungs ........WHATS WRONG WITH YOU ???WHY ARE YOU SHI*TTING ALL OVER THE BED...........AND CLUCKING LIKE A CHICKEN.

no comments?????

Great joke Mad Dog G.