Joke # 1 Spanish 101

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike
English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance is feminine: 'la casa.' 'Pencil,'however, is
masculine: 'el lapiz'. A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two
groups,
male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether
"computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was
asked
to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the
feminine gender ("la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for
possible
later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending
half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(No chuckling... this gets better!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine
("el computer"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves.
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they
ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a
little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

You can decide who won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joke #2 Tasks to be done

A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE
INTERRUPTS, "HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY?IT'S BEEN
FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW."
HE LOOK AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, "FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK
LIKE I HAVE GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO."

"FINE," THEN THE WIFE ASKS, "WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?
IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT."

TO WHICH HE REPLIED, "FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR?" "DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE
WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO."

"FINE," SHE SAYS, "THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE FRONT
DOOR? THEY ARE ABOUT TO BREAK."

"I'M NOT A DAMM CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS." HE SAYS,
"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T
THINK SO. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!!"

SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF
HOURS................................... HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY
ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME. AS HE WALKS
INTO THE HOUSE HE NOTICES THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE
ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING. AS HE GOES TO GET
A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED.

"HONEY," HE ASKS, "HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?"

SHE SAID, "WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED. JUST THEN A
NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME, "WHAT WAS WRONG?" I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO
DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH HIM
OR BAKE A CAKE."

HE SAID, "SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?"

SHE REPLIED, "HELLOOOOO....DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY
FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!"

Dami jokes bro. I guess the boys won!!!!!! hurrayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

This happened in INDIA.... A child asked his father who is fed up with his wife, " Papa, why a bridegroom has to ride a horse? Can't he ride an Ass? The father replied, " Son, it is because the bride will be confused which one of the asses to garland the phoolmaalaa "

A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man
marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had
an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said:

4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek.
She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you
say prayers before eating?" "No sir," little Johnny replies,
"I don't have to. My Mom is a good cook."

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly
announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister
When I grow up." "That's okay with us, but what made you decide
that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday
anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell,
than to sit and listen."

Sent to me by a Mexican Friend
QUE RAZA!!

> THE BARBER & THE MEXICAN
>
> One day, a florist goes to the barber for a haircut.
>
> After the cut, he goes to pay the barber. But the barber replies:
"I
> am
>
> sorry I cannot accept your money. I'm doing a community service."
>
> The florist is happy and leaves the shop.
>
> The next morning, when the barber goes to open his shop, there is a
>
> thank-you card and one dozen roses waiting at his door.
>
> A cop goes for a haircut, and he also goes to pay the barber after
the
>
> cut. But the barber replies: "I'm sorry I cannot accept your money.
I'm
>
> doing community service."
>
> The cop is happy and leaves the shop.
>
> The next morning the barber goes to open his shop, and there is a
>
> thank-you card and one dozen donuts waiting at his door.
>
> A Mexican cook goes for a haircut, and he also goes to pay the
barber
>
> after the cut.
>
> But the barber replies: "I'm sorry I can't accept your money. I'm
> doing
>
> a community service."
>
> The Mexican cook is happy and leaves.
>
> The next morning, when the barber goes to open his shop, guess what
he
>
> finds there?
>
> A dozen Mexicans waiting for a free haircut!!
>
> PINCHE RAZA!!!

Though I am a buddu, really I'm, I love to crack jokes. I don't laugh much but mostly make others. I created this joke myself.

Almost all the married men, looking for a bad woman role, to produce a movie, would certainly think of his own wife as the best suited look.

=================================

The world would have been a better place, if husbands and wives can't live together during weekends.

==================================

This world would have been a better place, if every language is communicated as a rap.

This photo joke...

Do you know what a Hindus writer wrote as one of reasons to prove hindu religion as the best religion.

The tuppi ( PIG TAIL ) a hindu brahmin has, is scientific - it's an antenna to protect the person from lightening. When lightening strikes this person, the current is sent to earth, saving this person.