Today, all of a sudden my GF called me to share one of the scandalous messages “Darling, we cant be together anymore” I was totally dumfounded that gave me sudden jerk. Well, it’s been a long relationship for about almost 2 years. Honestly speaking, at the outset, I took it as a fun affiliation; on the contrary, she was utterly drenched with my love.

slowly but surely, I just took it for granted and met her when I needed. On the other hand, she used to call 10 times a day and sending countless messages which I hardly replied with real curiosity. Lucky, I was to be her first Boy Friend. Though we live in same city we meet hardly once or twice a week all because of my hectic schedule and some other things. She had always time for me, yes always.

Whenever, we met she strike a chord me how much she loves and how her life has been complete after my ingress. “Honey, You are my Prince” She whispered many times kissing me tightly. After few 5-6 months I got jaded with her as I really did not like her as a Girl Friend, she was different, unique, tall, blonde and average looking girl. But I do not know why she did not attract me that much.

However, things went on, I thought of ending relationship many times in between but I just assured myself “Man, there is nothing to lose”. During our relationship I spent few months abroad, and as traveling being my biggest passion, I made short trip around nearby countries though I always ran out of money. (Surprisingly, I never missed her in those trips, she mailed me everyday with everything she did from morning to evening). Bastard, I was, I did not carry even a postcard that barely costs a euro. She never grumbled anything, all she needed was me and my company and love.

Then finally, I had to go to another continent for my study purpose for one semester “I unofficially ended the relationship from my side and finally excused her for not being so loyal to her, I admitted I could have been a better boy friend. At that time, I felt sorry for her and all the troubles I poured upon her.

To my surprise she wrote me Next day “Man, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I want you to know you haven't treated me badly, ever, even though you seem to think so. You have always been so good to me, and I really mean always. But now it's time for you to leave for other country. And it's time to decide whether or not we'll continue together. I already said to you what I want. You, you, you. That is what I want. And I want it so badly. I hope and in a way I know that we'll continue this love story (don't mind the clichés I use all the time). Boy it's a long way, but why should it stop us? We love each other more than anything, more than we can say. I want you to be open with me, don't hold anything back. Tell me everything you want and feel and love and hate. “Then she added “I wanna share my stupid stuff with you, even the most stupid things I wanna tell you. I am ready to go through this long separation. Are you?”

Then after spending a semester I again came back and she was there to welcome me with open arms. My feelings were same for her. We met like before and so on and on. Slowly I started loving her, I wanted to spend more time with her….I enjoyed being with her….which obviously she liked a lot.

And suddenly she said she can’t be with me anymore coz she thought we r totally different and she is still puzzled if I am right person for her. When she divulged this yesterday I realized how much I liked her, I was about to burst into tears. I never expected such bitter news from her. I know it’s my entire fault not to take it seriously, similarly I am damn sure not to stay in that country for long where she wd love to spend her whole life, Marriage was not in our card (Neither mine nor her).

If so, why I am so much worried now? Is it ego problem or a MAN thing? Today I wrote her a very long email (perhaps the longest) and we exchanged 20 SMSs. It seems she had absolutely determined to walk away from my life. I started feeling her absence right from that moment and I am begging for her love now. Never in my wildest imagination, I thought I would do that but I am dying to meet her now and to express everything. But she kept on repeating, we r very different to each other, she had seen me long and its time we drive different lanes. But she is still in dilemma and , she had not yet revealed we wr BROKEN UP. Then we r meeting finally to decide about this thing and spending a night together in her apartment, that could be the last night or …..I do not know…..I still have chance….Dear friend,s please tell me what should I do??????

Is it only my EGO that does not allow her to go or is this real love? I cant figure out anything.., I’m also not certain if I can change her mind….or Should I let her go her own away, time will heal everything, what I should I say…..how should we act?? I don’t know….what will happen if we re established our relationship? Can I change myself? I have no IDEA friends………………Im just f’*** up but one thing is sure I LOVE HER.

(She is 20 years, European, a college student, better looking than me with European Standard height)

Just now I wrote her SMS

My princess, I will love you till the end of time
Every breath of mine I'll hold you by my side

But I'll rest in peace my sweetheart would you
Let me die in your arms with you-

O.M.G ..Amazing..you pore pore thang. I read you and I thought it some work of fiction.Awwhh...

And um....i know this is a bad time to joke...but can;t help it.Try not to hate me too much for this hai.Referring to Dalli Resham's lines above,"Amazing, Sometime a gift of goodbuy can be the best gift. "
did you try the good BUY part? lolz.Boy..am I wicked!

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER
She is gone, gone forever, left me heart broken. I always made fun of those people who cry at losing someone, I thought they were just stupid, why should they cry over someone who left them? But today, I know, people might be making fun of me. Why this guy is just overacting? What the hellll he is barking here in Sajha and so on and on, Ok guys, Im ready to face whatever u say or blame coz its not my day at all. Im rejected one, neglected and the most importantly, HATED and UNWANTED. For those who think I an attention seeker here in sajha, u r right guys, I seek attention when I start thread, I feel happy if more people reply my thread, Don’t you feel so? Why only in Sajha, I seek attention everywhere, while walking on the street, in workplace, at university, in nightclubs, in disco where not….everywhere, after all I am an ordinary guy, like you.

Wednesday night was a night to remember, a night to forget, The night that taught me Im NOBODY. Middle of night we were there staring each other. “Oh you got new carpet” she broke the silence, I asked her for a hug. Never hold her that tightly in last 2 years. was in a fear of losing her.

I played our special track by Frank Sinatra, exactly like in song, we were strangers even after two long years. I asked if the song reminds her something, in fact, that was the song that she played when we spent first night two years back in her place. Gosh, its been long two years. I acted very normal, did not try to be emotional. Man, it was not easy. We talked common things, weather, this and that. I tried to read her mind, she was very different today, little pale, little worried. Silent night…..silent room….difficult environment and the song “strangers at night…exchanging glances……..”

I did not try to dig anything, just let the things go as it happen. Finally I dared to ask “Eventually, u r leaving me?” she just did not answer anything, “Well its hard but….. u know the reason…, I hope u read the mail” That was more than enough.

We did not talk much, I did not try to stop her neither could I, just I expressed how much I love and will be missing her. “Do u think I wont miss u?” she whimpered again. I apologized for everything I did to her, for not understanding her feelings, for being asssshole, for being so selfish, and being so merciless quite often. But to my surprise she did not assume I treated her badly except for few occasions. I was so happy to hear that though I knew that was a sweet lie.

It was already 3.00 Am, we tried to sleep but all in vain. After a while I came to kitchen opened fridge, found nothing, I only remember now its been 3 days Ive not been to a shop. She was sleeping with swollen eyes, I just stared her without a blink, this girl who was stranger couple of years back could bring tears from my eyes. Why is it so? Ive never understood why people cry but today Im aksing same question to myself.

Soon she felt asleep, I gazed her innocent face who once upon a time loved me more than herself. How fool I was not to realize that but its too late today. I wanted grab her and cry loud, I yearned to hold her so tight that she could go nowhere, I just did not want to lose her…….but…..destiny has something else to do. She is not mine anymore….

I could not sleep, I feared putting on light to wake her up. I opened SAJHA and thought of posting what was going on but no, that would be too crazy and I did not want to be a joker again.

I did not know when I slept last night but I found myself next to her, it was already 11.00 when we woke up. I thanked her for being so faithful, kind and loving, I confessed again that she was the most loving girl I had met so far and nobody had poured me so much of unconditional love. I respected her decision and wish to get better and more understanding guy than me who loves her more and more. I said that very easily but deep inside, I was dying. I asked her if we could take few pictures for the final. (Im postin here)

After few hours I dropped her to school, for the first time I accompanied her, during our 40 minutes bus journey, could talk nothing. Finally, I gave her tearful/farewell kiss in her school gate. Last question she asked “Are you sure, u don’t want to be my friend?” I had no answer though I was thinking it for long. She said last sentence “I don’t want to lose you completely” “Good luck for your life and once again sorry for all the troubles I gave you but I love u more than ever before” I walked away….and still thinking if its good idea to be her friend….


---------LIFE GOES ON-------------

People come people go, but I hope gradually time will heal everything. Yesterday night I analysed many things. In my life there are other impt things to be accomplished than her. Ive to study, fulfill my parents dream, I have to be someone. Then why should I feel like ending a life when a person walks a way from my life? I think it’s a natural, I left my parents, friends back home, I left all my family members so when I compare with all this its nothing. People lose their dearest one but the SHOW MUST GO ON….Im trying to console myself, I know its hard.

I remember when I left India after 2 years study. The most impt thing I missed was my tiny, dirty room and the narrow streets I walked to my school. I missed those days but now, When I compare that incident with now, I think its natural what Im undergoing after all I was so attached to her and 2 years was a long time. I think whatever happens happens for good. One day we have to be apart so I think earlier the better. I hope gradually evething wd be alright…

Finally, I have to admit that we were not made for each other, there is someone better for her though I don’t know about myself………LIFE GOES ON………!!!!!

Thank you dear frens of Sajha for being so kind.

Last moment with her.....just before dropping her to school......!!!

Trying hard to smile.......(Only for photo)
Were we really odd couple?

I feel you bro...I went through a very similar tragic scenario about a month ago and it was perhaps one of the most heart-rending moments in my life. I thought I lost everything and blamed myself for all the misgivings. But as someone said earlier, the show must go on...Here I am today, stronger, wiser and more content with all of life's experiences than ever before!

...though I still think about her every night when I'm lying in bed!

Thanks Samsara for support but why dont u post your own story as well?

Nah...I think I'll avoid the sajha publicity as I feel that I've already received all the emotional/mental support from my family and friends. Life goes on and I've conculded that whats not meant to be was never to be. A more important reason, mine's reminscent of a typical Bollywood movie so I really don't wanna bore anyone (watch DDLJ but with Shah Rukh coming out empty handed in the end...exactly that my friend!).

Hey, I know what you're going through and you'll get outta it. They say "time heals all wounds" but time takes time and until then I'd advise you to just bear the sleep deprivation, irregular heart-beats, compulsive drinking and smoking, appetite reduction, loss of concentration, halucination, etc. for a little while more la. After you get through this transition, its time to mack on hotter chicks!!

there are so many bitches in this planet and you have to go die for this bitch.
common live your life. get a life.

Jhilke sorry to heard this all. tara as u said Life goes on.

Jhilke I'm so sorry for you ...but do not feel down ..Time heals all wounds.

Time and Tide doesnot wait for non,so Life goes on

haha....good story..I had not opened Sajha for two days, and was curious if this tearjerker was still on....keep it going...I wanna know if she called on Friday and so on and on.....oops am I jumping ahead of the story?
I hope you are telling the truth though bro, because if you are not then remember you may have invited a self fulfilling prophecy.peace.

Dalli Resham, Lets hope it could be the best gift ever

sajhako hero bro, Sorry to hear your story tooo, r u totally recoverd or even better?

paradisecicty, good tips man, thanks.

Audrey.H dude, ya this AMAZING is poor poor thing :-(

Samsara bro, really appreciate your encouragement, thats why people say back home in Nepal KI PARERA JANNICHHA KI PADHERA JANINCHHA...Keep it up dude.

Thuli and Tiru (Uptowngal N Tyra) thank u so much, u gals r so sweet..your few words make me feel better:-) Life goes on so does our own CHAUTARI,,, ki kaso?

Thanks hajur for your kind concern.

jhyalincha bro, Im so glad that my feelings made you laugh....Thanks hai ta....J hos timilai yesto nahos....!!! Thanks once again :-(

been there my man...many times...i have been guilty of initiating the dump sometimes, and sometimes i have been dumped..thats the nature of this biz.
the best thing to do is keep on trucking...oh by the way, go ahead and watch old school, that movie will lift your spirits up.
the way you keep coming back to this thread and feeding info, yet at the same time maintaining your reservations on airing your dirty laundry in public...hmmmm...slim shady....but hey, this is a gossip site...so keep on trucking dude... beats the freaking politics and discriminating threads started by assholes here anyday.

I DON'T LOVE YOU!!!!

Amazing jee, who should be singing this song? YOU or SHE?

Well when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way

When and after all this time that you still own
You're still the good-for-nothing I don’t know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can

When you go
Would you even turn to say hey
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you outta stay

And after all the blood that you still own
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up

Better get up
While you can

Whe-n you go
Would you even turn to say hey
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"

Well, come on. Come on

Whe-n you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"

I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yester-day

I don't love you
Like I loved yo-u
Yester-day

Amazing,

Good grief... the bichara heart is all over the place - bleeding! Blimey..

See, that's what happens when you have your hands into too many pies... :-)

The fish is out there in the samundra swimming - try and look for it. And oh, I can lend you my scuba diving gear if you need it! :-) And for a man of your charm, the task is a doddle, I am sure.. a magnet as your are! :-)

Take care. You, in Canada still, ho? Good luck with your studies.

odd?? no, you guys make a cute couple amazing ;]

what part of canada you at?

Cute?? You've got to be joking...

With those horrible TiPex blobs?

What?? Armani do those funny-shaped Tipex goggles?

:-)

apart from the whiteout stuff, their smiles are cute and alike ;D

asnshawty,
but didn't hear me say: PS, i was only joking! :-)

Or is that 'kidding'?

Yes, their smiles are cute - Amazing's amazing smile...

How do you pronounce your name btw? A-shanti? :-)

u dont have to pronounce it, do you ;O
type it off! hehe

i really myself dunno how i pronounce it! ;S