“I am a modern man” by George Carin.

मैले आजसम्म सुनेका उत्कृष्ट र गहनतम व्यंगहरु मध्येको एक । यो सुन्दासुन्दै वा सुनिसकेपछि एकबाजी हाम्रो आधुनिकताको खोक्रो विशालता, फटाहा अतिरञ्जना र मुक्तिविहिन चक्रव्युहको दैत्याकार चित्रले निसास्सिने गरी थिचिएको महसुस नगरीरहन सक्नुहुनेछैन । 

एकदम दर्शनीय, श्रवणीय, पठनीय र चिन्तनीय प्रस्तुती !

 

Enjoy !

Nepe

 

 

“I am a modern man”

by George Carin (recipient of the Mark Twain prize 2008)

(Featured in the Eleventh Annual Kennedy Center Mark Twain Prize on Feb 4, 2009)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6J3OD4Z0UQ

 

 

TRANSCRIPT:

 

I'm a modern man,

A man for the millennium,

Digital and smoke free.

 

A diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist,

Politically anatomically and ecologically incorrect.

 

I've been uplinked and downloaded.

I've been inputted and outsourced.

I know the upside of downsizing.

I know the downside of upgrading.

 

I'm a high tech lowlife.

A cutting edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multitasker,

And I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.

 

I'm new wave but I'm old school,

And my inner child is outward bound.

 

I'm a hot wired heat seeking warm hearted cool customer,

Voice activated and biodegradable.

 

I interface from a database,

And my database is in cyberspace,

So I'm interactive,

I'm hyperactive,

And from time-to-time,

I'm radioactive.

 

Behind the eight ball,

Ahead of the curve,

Riding the wave,

Dodging a bullet,

Pushing the envelope.

 

I'm on point,

On task,

On message,

And off drugs.

I got no need for coke and speed,

I got no urge to binge and purge.

 

I'm in the moment,

On the edge,

Over the top,

But under the radar.

 

A high concept,

Low profile,

Medium range ballistic missionary.

A street-wise smart bomb.

A top gun bottom feeder.

 

I wear power ties,

I tell power lies,

I take power naps,

I run victory laps.

 

I'm a totally ongoing bigfoot slam dunk rainmaker with a proactive outreach.

A raging workaholic.

A working ragaholic.

Out of rehab,

And in denial.

 

I got a personal trainer,

A personal shopper,

A personal assistant,

And a personal agenda.

 

You can't shut me up,

You can't dumb me down.

'Cause I'm tireless,

And I'm wireless.

I'm an alpha male on beta blockers.

 

I'm a non-believer and an over-achiever.

Laid back but fashion forward.

 

Up front,

Down home,

Low rent,

High maintenance.

 

Super size,

Long lasting,

High definition,

Fast acting,

Oven ready,

And built to last.

 

I'm a hands on,

Foot loose,

Knee jerk,

Head case.

 

Prematurely post traumatic,

And I have a love child who sends me hate mail.

 

But I'm feeling,

I'm caring,

I'm healing,

I'm sharing.

A supportive bonding nurturing primary care giver.

 

My output is down,

But my income is up.

I take a short position on the long bond,

And my revenue stream has its own cash flow.

 

I read junk mail,

I eat junk food,

I buy junk bonds,

I watch trash sports.

 

I'm gender specific,

Capital intensive,

User friendly,

And lactose intolerant.

 

I like rough sex.

I like rough sex.

I like tough love.

I use the f word in my email,

And the software on my hard drive is hard core, no soft porn.

 

I bought a microwave at a mini mall.

I bought a mini van in a mega store.

I eat fast food in the slow lane.

 

I'm toll free,

Bite sized,

Ready to wear,

And I come in all sizes.

 

A fully equipped,

Factory authorized,

Hospital tested,

Clinically proven,

Scientifically formulated medical miracle.

 

I've been pre-washed,

Pre-cooked,

Pre-heated,

Pre-screened,

Pre-approved,

Pre-packaged,

Post-dated,

Freeze-dried,

Double-wrapped,

Vacuum-packed,

And I have an unlimited broadband capacity.

 

I'm a rude dude,

But I'm the real deal.

Lean and mean.

Cocked, locked and ready to rock.

Rough tough and hard to bluff.

 

I take it slow.

I go with the flow.

I ride with the tide.

I got glide in my stride.

 

Drivin' and movin',

Sailin' and spinnin',

Jivin' and groovin',

Wailin' and winnin'.

 

I don't snooze,

So I don't lose.

I keep the pedal to the metal,

And the rubber on the road.

 

I party hearty,

And lunch time is crunch time.

 

I'm hanging in,

There ain't no doubt.

And I'm hanging tough,

Over and out. .. …

 

 

 

LemmeTelU,

Thank you for your inputs. Talent, hard work and practice are indeed what great arts are all about. Although sometimes one can compensate for the other.

And the lack of practice (self-practice and editing included) is indeed a major inadequacy of Nepali artists (including writers).

In fact, Samrat Upadhyay, who credits his success to the arduous and no-holds-barred editing of his manuscript by his editors, identifies Nepali writer’s ego (they feel offended if editing is suggested to their work) as one major problem for Nepali literature to do well in the market.

Nepali comedians are probably less egoist than Nepali literateur. However, lack of opportunity (and insentive) for practices is clearly there.

Now I would like to comment on Rewire’s  earlier remarks about the unavoidable “boring” art elements in art cinema and also about the alleged unprogressive nature of Nepali mind.

 

Rewire wrote:

>“conservatism, hatred, denial and other negativism” are universal.

>Look who's talking? We have more disease of these kind than the

>West, to my understanding. Having progressive “desire” is different

>than living a progressive “life”. I firmly believe that we are NOT

>as progressive as you've implied. Not even remotely as a matter of fact

>“…….Patience is a virtue” -- we say it all the time, just don't practice it.

>It is boring because the story line calls for that silence, camera angle, the

>drone music of a story that is boring to begin with. I don't think the director

>can do a whole lot there unless he make a Matrix type of high flying, gun

>shooting and blazing music to get the attention of those bored audience.

 

On the art elements, I have partially and in some way explained my view with the example of the local popularity of the artistic Chinese cinema. My point is that art does not necessarily have to be boring. The “boring” art elements can be assembled in a way to produce a constantly enjoyable final product.

I like to compare some of the boring and flopped “art” movies to the pure “classical music” and the enjoyable and successful “art” movies to the light classical or derivative music.

On progressive (potential or existing) Nepali minds, my conclusion is based, not just on the political dimension of our history (if you are suspecting), but on the social changes that I have observed. Among the few things that have influenced my view is the local women social/NGO workers in villages. Most of them are minimally literate and some are even illiterate. But oh boy ! talk to them and see for yourself how easily they have adopted in their mind the progressive thoughts and agendas. Of course you can find villages still living in the darkness and still unhappy to see Dalits entering their temples. But those who have been exposed to the ideas do show the sign of a surprising unrigidity for Nepali minds. The same can not be said to several certain sections of the Western society bhanne mero bichaar ho.

 

Nepe    

I was surfing and found this hilarious, in fact thought-provoking, suggestion for switching people's taste from the commercial movies to the art movies. Enjoy !

"..But I have a solution. What’s the one kind of film that all audiences will watch regardless of where they’re coming from? R rated ones. I propose that this is where theaters should begin: screen classics with nudity. The Canterbury Tales, Last Tango in Paris, and Y Tu Mama Tambien, will all find an audience. Then steadily, wean them away and simply show them good films. Women will come too, coaxed by their husbands and boyfriends: this is not porn, this is cinema.."

What’s Wrong with Indian Cinema?

http://www.upperstall.com/content/what%E2%80%99s-wrong-with-indian-cinema

Nepe 

Nepe Ji,

I'll definetly write more later. But in the mean while, I just found this piece on youtube, a reason why I have so much respect to the old Japanese movies. The best from the Asian continent. Enjoy!

 

Friends, I am closing this thread for now. Feel free to revive whenever you have some “stuff” to share.

I thank all readers and participates, particularly Rewire and DWI for enriching this otherwise a directionless thread with some valuable “stuff” from their side.

I would like to conclude this thread with an honorable mention to a Nepali film that comes first in our mind when we think of the genre we were talking here.

“Paraal Ko Aago”, despite it’s humbleness, rather perhaps DUE TO it’s humbleness and certainly due to it’s sincerity stands out and remains the best Nepali film ever made to many critics and serious artists (Madan Krishna and Haribansh hold this opinion).

 

Nepe

 

A heart warming moment from “Paraalko Aago”

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सुत्नु अघि साझा छिरेर सरसर्ती एक नजर लगाए l पाना सार्दै जाने क्रममा यहा पुगे पछि औला रोकीञ्छन ! सुरु गरे पछि अन्त्य नगरी छोड्न मन लागेन , नेपालीमा लेखिएका हरु चै पढन सकिएन!
Thank you for sharing your thoughtful views.