Today, all of a sudden my GF called me to share one of the scandalous messages “Darling, we cant be together anymore” I was totally dumfounded that gave me sudden jerk. Well, it’s been a long relationship for about almost 2 years. Honestly speaking, at the outset, I took it as a fun affiliation; on the contrary, she was utterly drenched with my love.

slowly but surely, I just took it for granted and met her when I needed. On the other hand, she used to call 10 times a day and sending countless messages which I hardly replied with real curiosity. Lucky, I was to be her first Boy Friend. Though we live in same city we meet hardly once or twice a week all because of my hectic schedule and some other things. She had always time for me, yes always.

Whenever, we met she strike a chord me how much she loves and how her life has been complete after my ingress. “Honey, You are my Prince” She whispered many times kissing me tightly. After few 5-6 months I got jaded with her as I really did not like her as a Girl Friend, she was different, unique, tall, blonde and average looking girl. But I do not know why she did not attract me that much.

However, things went on, I thought of ending relationship many times in between but I just assured myself “Man, there is nothing to lose”. During our relationship I spent few months abroad, and as traveling being my biggest passion, I made short trip around nearby countries though I always ran out of money. (Surprisingly, I never missed her in those trips, she mailed me everyday with everything she did from morning to evening). Bastard, I was, I did not carry even a postcard that barely costs a euro. She never grumbled anything, all she needed was me and my company and love.

Then finally, I had to go to another continent for my study purpose for one semester “I unofficially ended the relationship from my side and finally excused her for not being so loyal to her, I admitted I could have been a better boy friend. At that time, I felt sorry for her and all the troubles I poured upon her.

To my surprise she wrote me Next day “Man, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I want you to know you haven't treated me badly, ever, even though you seem to think so. You have always been so good to me, and I really mean always. But now it's time for you to leave for other country. And it's time to decide whether or not we'll continue together. I already said to you what I want. You, you, you. That is what I want. And I want it so badly. I hope and in a way I know that we'll continue this love story (don't mind the clichés I use all the time). Boy it's a long way, but why should it stop us? We love each other more than anything, more than we can say. I want you to be open with me, don't hold anything back. Tell me everything you want and feel and love and hate. “Then she added “I wanna share my stupid stuff with you, even the most stupid things I wanna tell you. I am ready to go through this long separation. Are you?”

Then after spending a semester I again came back and she was there to welcome me with open arms. My feelings were same for her. We met like before and so on and on. Slowly I started loving her, I wanted to spend more time with her….I enjoyed being with her….which obviously she liked a lot.

And suddenly she said she can’t be with me anymore coz she thought we r totally different and she is still puzzled if I am right person for her. When she divulged this yesterday I realized how much I liked her, I was about to burst into tears. I never expected such bitter news from her. I know it’s my entire fault not to take it seriously, similarly I am damn sure not to stay in that country for long where she wd love to spend her whole life, Marriage was not in our card (Neither mine nor her).

If so, why I am so much worried now? Is it ego problem or a MAN thing? Today I wrote her a very long email (perhaps the longest) and we exchanged 20 SMSs. It seems she had absolutely determined to walk away from my life. I started feeling her absence right from that moment and I am begging for her love now. Never in my wildest imagination, I thought I would do that but I am dying to meet her now and to express everything. But she kept on repeating, we r very different to each other, she had seen me long and its time we drive different lanes. But she is still in dilemma and , she had not yet revealed we wr BROKEN UP. Then we r meeting finally to decide about this thing and spending a night together in her apartment, that could be the last night or …..I do not know…..I still have chance….Dear friend,s please tell me what should I do??????

Is it only my EGO that does not allow her to go or is this real love? I cant figure out anything.., I’m also not certain if I can change her mind….or Should I let her go her own away, time will heal everything, what I should I say…..how should we act?? I don’t know….what will happen if we re established our relationship? Can I change myself? I have no IDEA friends………………Im just f’*** up but one thing is sure I LOVE HER.

(She is 20 years, European, a college student, better looking than me with European Standard height)

Just now I wrote her SMS

My princess, I will love you till the end of time
Every breath of mine I'll hold you by my side

But I'll rest in peace my sweetheart would you
Let me die in your arms with you-

I can't tell ya baby what went wrong
I can't make you feel what you felt so long ago
I'll let it show
I can't give you back what's been hurt
Heartaches come and go and all that's left are the words
I can't let go
If we take some time to think it over baby
Take some time, let me know
If you really want to go

Don't know what you got till it's gone
Don't know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It's just this song
And it ain't easy to get back
Takes so long

I can't feel the things that cause you pain
I can't clear my heart of your love it falls like rain
Ain't the same
I hear you calling far away
Tearing through my soul I just can't take another day
Who's to blame
If we take some time to think it over baby
Take some time let me know
If you really wanna go

Don't know what you got till it's gone
Don't know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It's just this song
And it ain't easy to get back
Takes so long

Do you wanna see me beggin' baby
Can't you give me just one more day
Can't you see my heart's been draggin' lately
I've been lookin' for the words to say

Don't know what you got till it's gone
Don't know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It's just this song
And it ain't easy to get back
Takes so long

Don't know what you got till it's gone no
Don't know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It's just this song
And it ain't easy to get back
Takes so long

Jai Nepal
Highvoltage: Nidaune hoina? Kati Jaga rahane Amrika ma!
Jai Nepal

jwai sap, mero nindra dherai paile kasaie lagisakyo re kya:p hehe jhaljhali ghaam lagirachha prabho yeha ta raati haina uthisake bhok lagirachha mukh dhuna alchhi lagera yesai dhalkera sunday manayirako mitra.

ha ha pire le hasayo.. tyo "madarine" bhaneko ho ki ""madne" ? are they same?.
to the borken heart, always understand that woman always ask " whats's there for me" in relationship. Make sure you are always there to provide that answer. If you snooze you loose. And remember me if ur successful.

Amazing Bro,

Sorry to hear this news....i am feeling sad for you too.....but as namsakar said you have to get it out from it.....life never always go on so have to flow with it...euta ukti yaad aayo "if life gives you 100 reasons to cry show the life that you have 1000 reasons to smile"...i know it's easy to say rather than doing so...but try it out.....who knows you may able to solve this...


MY GOOD LUCK FOR YOU.

sounds like she is too young and not sure what she wants.. your best option is to leave and find someone else.. if u continue to stay with her , she will be miserable and maybe even dump u again.

I think the best solution is this: Hang out with other girls and try to date someone. When you and your ex get in contact, tell her how great the new girl is and bla bla bla.
This will surely affect her and she will come running back to you. Of course, since she dumped you in the first place already, I think it's not worth your while or hers, to get back in a f'ed up relationship. Just ignore her messages. Of course, you might wanna talk to her or something, since you are a wounded soul. But resist all these urges. My love doctor tells me that "you should never get back with your ex". The other thing he tells me is that "once a woman's interest level has dropped below 49%, there is no salvaging it." And looking at your situation, I think it's well below 40% on her side. So leave this mess and go ahead and find other better girls.
And do learn from your mistakes.
If you don't realize, let me tell you what your mistake was.
Did you notice how she was all over you when you didn't treat her as well as after when you came back from abroad (after which you treated her like your "master"). That's the exact problem. A relationship is mutual. When you didn't care too much, she prolly thought " Wow, this is a challenge. I will fight for his attention." But after, she was like "I can treat him like a door mat and still he won't complain."
I am not saying that the situation was exactly like I describe. It is approximate.
So the only way you can keep a woman and marry her is if you can have that "challenge factor". do not ever be her door mat. do not be too serious (which I feel you were and which you still are). don't beg and grovel for her attention (which you did with that long email). If u wanna be a man, act like one. Noone will give you that respect if you don't earn it.

Amazing, I am really sorry about what you are going through. keep your hope high... life has to go on. i am not sure if i should bring this up at this moment but couldn't help it. you said that your gf is 20 and so far i recollect the way you presented yourself in your post entitled "SOOOO HAPPY - FINALLY I FOUND" you turn out to be seasoned in terms of age.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Amazing Posted on 02-19-07 3:51 PM Reply
ल अब हामि बुढा बुढिहरु जम्मा भयर पुराना दिनहरु याद गरौ, ल यो त यार १९५७ को फिल्म हो यार, त्यो बेलामा म ६ किलासमा थिय

Movie - Naya Daur

उडे जब् जब् जुल्फे तेरि, कुवारियो का दिल् मचले
जिन्द् मेरिये

हो, जब् ऐसे चिकने चेहरे, तो कैसे न नजर् फिसले
जिन्द् मेरिये

उस् गाव् पे स्वर्ग् भि सडके, के जहा मेरा यार् बसता
जिन्द् मेरिये

पानि लेने के बहाने आ जा, के तेर मेर इक् रास्ता
जिन्द् मेरिये

अभि छेडेङे गलि के सब् लडके के चान्द् बैरि छिप् जाने दे

उडे जब् जब् जुल्फे तेरि, कुवारियो का दिल् मचले
जिन्द् मेरिये
------------
अरे खबर्दार भैया, वाह भाइ क्या खुब!! कोइ जवाब नहि आपका.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
if you were in class 6 in 1957 as per your post, it reminds me of this recent thread in sajha "He is 60 and she is 18........". if i failed to comprehend your age and misconstrued your post i beg an apology. i don't mean to offend you in any way by bringing this up but just wanted to put forward the ambiguity. even though thats your true age, its none of my business to pry into your personal affairs but then... since you posted it in sajha i think its not bizarre of me to mention it here. anyway, GOOD LUCK with it!!!

Love is a blend of various ingredients of bonding. One major ingredient is passion. Most of the time when we talk about love, we are talking about passion. It's that major.

All ingredients of love are functions of many different factors. The purpose of this quick note is not to list all those variables but one.

"Passion induced by loss" could be what Amazing bro is feeling at this time.

Such passion often gets lost when the lost object is recovered. Some residual passion might linger. However, the bulk of the loss induced passion will die after the loss is recovered/reversed.

By this, I am not suggesting anything to Amazing bro. My suggestion to all people for all time in every situation including normal time is: be honest-- to yourself as well as to the people you care.

Be good. Good things happen.

Nepe

Dear frineds, Thanks a lot for your concern and kind replies.

Today, yesterday, every moment, I tried not to recall her, forget everything about us but it was disastrous attempt every second. Luckily, she replied my mail, when I called up, she was howling, which I clearly noticed. She confessed she is also going through equally hard times. I requested if we could meet for coffee before our final night which unbelievably she denied.


Then, she started crying loudly over phone. I pray to God, please do not give her more trauma and pains, she put off her phone down then switched off. That painful moment forced me to recollect our past relationship, the good, bad, sweet, bitter moments we shared within 2 years.

Gosh, why I am blurring here in SAJHA, but I realised I felt really comfortable after expressing my hidden feelings with my dear friends, though strangers physically.

I never realized her love and passion for me and always asked myself if those were true. She is a unique girl who loves music more than anything, her 70% expenditure includes buying new CDs. Similarly, I also cannot live without it but the fact is we have totally diverse taste. There are only FRANK SINATRA and BOB MARLEY we both like, rest r totally poles apart. Whenever she was in my place, I played my type of easy listening music such as Celine Dion, Green Day, Elton John, Mariah Carrey, Kelly Clarkson, James Blunt, Phill Collins etc. But when I was in her place she always took my permission what kind of music I liked and though she played her taste such as Amy Winehouse, Nat King Cole, Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Erykah Badu, Outkast, Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds, Mercury Rev, Zero 7, Nick Drake. I thought it was a minor thing but those small things could cost sometime. Perhaps I never understood her, never respected her taste. More than music, it’s the way how u care your loving one.


I also remembered I did not present her anything in last two Valentines, she was the one to wish in early morning, By nature, she is a fragile girl who cries pretty often which I somehow don’t appreciate. Once, when I woke up at middle of night I saw her gazing me and whimpering. I asked the reason “Its nothing” she whispered. After few weeks, I told joking why didn’t she cried these days , it was just a joke to mention that she over cries. But she was totally hurt by my sentence later I apologized . perhaps that was the worst thing a Girl can expect from her Loving one. Instead of trying to wipe her tears, making fun of her emotions.

There are innumerable such moments where I acted like a fool, never understood or (try to).. I was too selfish. I shared with my friends how GREAT I was to have a girl who dances on my tune. On the other hand, she had always had appreciation for me, even her parents, elder sister (who is also my friend), encouraged her to be with me as she had told all the good things about me. Alas her lies were true to her family.

Now I miss her very badly, I need her, I love her but DESTINY might have something else to do. I have gone very emotional, I have not slept well, nor eaten….I don’t know what’s happening. She replied my SMS after 3 hours and there was something missing, usually her SMS starts with Honey, Love, Babe, Drolling, Prince that concludes with kisses, lots of love, yours little bitch, your small world or so on but today it read like this “ HI, SORRY, I AM REALLY BUSY ON TUESDAY, CANT MEET YOU, see u tom, perhaps for the final time, BYE”

I was supposed to go to her place but I requested if she can come here, which she agreed. Im just waiting for WEDNESDAY, she will be in my place and I have total 12 hours. I do not know why I am so curious to meet the girl whom I was meeting for last 2 years, Never been so crazy after anyone like this…I do not know what I will do when I see her….grab, hug, kiss, just see, cry or nothing…… Will it be our last meeting or the beginning of new episode? I wish I could read her mind, I always guess what she might be thinking about this STUPID GUY…

On Wednesday night, I will try to act as normal as possible but for sure I have to admit I LOVE HER and will be loving, despite consequences I will reveal the truth, I will admit her to be my loved one. I know she also loves me ( I hope) but no matter, what comes out..IM READY TO FACE it coz Im the main culprit of whole drama.. Life goes on, there are many other things in life which r important to me such as my study, work, parents, my family and so on still I had to agree I cant leave her just like that…

On Wednesday night, I am planning to wel come her, with her kind of music, I will deorate room with her choice of colour and, I just took out a paper from my door which read “ ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK” that wd be replaced by something like “WAITING FOR PRINCESS”


She loved me like anything and what I gave in return? Tears, pains, suffocations. Though im not bad guy, But with her everything I did was wrong, a blunder. she did not deserve all these, she suffered just because of me. I realized now and yes I love her more than she did before. But, this time, I do not expect anything from her. Just one kiss will be enough because, it is rightly said “EVERYTHING YOU GAVE WILL COME TO YOUR HAND, ONE DAY”

Yesterday, when I asked why can’t we meet in coffee shop or in some public place she replied “she needs to cry whole night with me, most probably for the LAST TIME”. Only thing that haunts me every second is last TWO WORDS.

interesting, Nepe jyu.

"Passion induced by loss" could be what Amazing bro is feeling at this time.

From what amazing wrote, i have a strong feeling that he did not 'love' the girl truly, in the first place....

remember, what he wrote:

“Man, there is nothing to lose”

Such feeling, when starts to dwell in one's mind, is a genuine indication of failure in one's part to cherish the person, let alone be able to love him/her--unconditionally! i believe, what amazing went through was NOT love but its hallucination. moreover, he himself admitted that he basically wanted to end the relationship from his side.

So, amidst this scenario, my question to you- Nepejyu, is, if the foundation of a relationship is weak in itself, as in this case, does the 'passion' that you're talking about remain as a major ingredient of love? Coz whether he actually loved her is highly doubtful in the first place..

if you would want to know, my take on this is:

amazing was not able to respect/cherish what he had. there could be various reasons behind it, but from what he wrote, it looks to me like he befriended with her just for the sake of companionship for the time being, and, when he's done with it, he shied away from the responsibilities that come up with a relationship. i call it syndromes of impulsive response of hormones :P. Aaj Pooja, Kal 'Dooja' kinda....:D

The good thing about such break-up is, the post-break-up transient phase has short life and it dies out quickly without much damage....I am sure amazing is much better in shape today than he was yesterday...:D

Amazing, i thank you for letting me speak my mind. I hope you will spare me for grilling you a bit too much into this. Please don't take my 'nosy' analysis otherwise. I wrote everything in the right spirit just with the hope of helping several others who might have gone or going through similar situation. :-).

LooTe

u'll be okay and she'll be okay too

try to make it easy for the both of you...don't be selfish at the last moment if it doesn't work out the way you want. that's all i have to say

She is just testing you !

I am not sure if this is a true love story or you are just faking as it is real. If it is a fake one then fu(k U, if whatever you have said is true then my fren you are in deeply love with that gal. So, my suggestion will be," don't let her go away." It's not your man ego, it is love, you are falling for her, if you heart beat harder everytime you think about her then, bro you gonna ruin your own life if you let her go away. Well I don't know what you should do when you meet her, but .................... I don't know man, good luck. Wish to hear a positive response from ya. god bless you.

hey loote bro!hehe..u harsh?amazing said u werent..and well heres a dumb question(dunno who else to ask ;oP hehe)..u know the sayn about being blunt...urghh never mind..i changed my mind..maybe some other time(some other thots came about ;oP hehe)...oh how about this?this thing called hypocrisy..i guess i like to assume that we all have it..and show diff amount each time whenever we show it hehe..but do we actually notice our own hypocrisy?cos i guess in some ways i wish i was able to notice my own..tho that might quite be impossible?cos even if i knew i was being a hypocrite..will i really accept it?;oP hehe..hope that made sense..i seriously dunno wat the hell im askn :o| hehe..hope alls well there..and yeah it def does take courage(is that the right word?hehe) to come out in the open esp when we know there be others judging us..so i guess i too need to give some plaudits to amazing bro..if i already havent(and im sure i havent me being me :oS)...hope alls good there :oD

amazing bro..i def shant give u any more of my lame opinions today..ok maybe one or two?duh! ;oP hehe..i mean since im here..i guess i always do let out some opinions?:oS..anyways we always think there is a right answer to every problems..but smtimes there is no truly right answers hoina?..watever we do is right..since we chose and decided to take that course of action?we never know wat tomorrow will bring hoina?so yeah good luck on watever happens..as they say..que sera sera watever will be will be...if ur still feeln tensions etc..just knowin that there is sajha here to gaff saff etc hope that makes u forget the tensions for a moment hehe..i mean tension socheyra ke ta huney hoina..hoina?

and oh i think i be watchn some dvds later....fren has brought a huge pile of them :oS...cant run away from fate i guess :oS ;oP

good day!and good luck :oD

I have yet to read Amazing's updates.

However, I would like to reply to Loote-jee's query.

Loote-jee, I probably agree with your appraisal that Amazing's feelings (including passion) to his gf was weak.

And I was talking about "passion" as one of three major components of romantic love, which are, (1) passion, (2) intimacy, and (3) commitment.

In Amazing's saga, "commitment" looks lacking. Then intimacy was also probably weak. That leaves "passion" which also looks weak.

So basically the case was of a weak love.

And as for your opinion/complain that Amazing failed to cherish his beloved, I would take that as the way it was rather than a moral judgment on Amazing.

Cherishing, love, passion and all related things has to happen, you don't do it.

प्यार किया नही जाता हो जाता है
दिल दिया नही जाता खो जाता है

Now, whatever is going on is happening. Let us not make him do things. Ki Kaso ?

(She is 20 years, European, a college student, better looking than me with European Standard height)

Here's a question to all the love and break-up experts in here - how do you figure out whether your girlfriend is more 'better looking' than yourself.

it's arlright lah. cuase yuo can find anohter gilr soon.

goodnitee

Amazing bro,
Good luck with your proclamation of love. If you want to do it, we can't really stop you.
But keep in mind, what I say. You might come out a winner but if you do come out on the other end of the barrel, this will be catastrophical to you, your ego and probably your self-esteem. So hope for the best but don't forget to expect the worst.
Ciao.

Nepe-jyu,

प्यार किया नही जाता हो जाता है
दिल दिया नही जाता खो जाता है

Now, whatever is going on is happening. Let us not make him do things. Ki Kaso ?


my thoughts exactly. perhaps i was being a bit too ruthless in telling amazing to let her go but looking at it from another angle, since it did not work out in the last 2 years (that's A LOT of time) chances are, it will not happen in the last minute, just by crying a river or by trying to force an issue (which again is against the spirit of the two lines that you quoted :P) ...

i am not asking amazing to do anything at this point (who the hell am i? :P) but since he was asking for our suggestions, i just wanted to show my 2 unwanted cents from my 'already worn-out and almost completely torn' pocket :P :-)

My good wishes are with him!

=============================

Danny bro,
Rightly put. At times, it looks so easy to point fingers on other people, but it's hard to comprehend introspection...

i am not saying, i cannot be a hypocrite myself, however, with a few micro-grams of brain that resides in my head :P, i have done a bit of introspection on few occasions, which tells me, i cannot tell one thing one day and a completely different thing the next day, unless, perhaps in few occasions, when i get 'enlightened' :D. i can still be a hypocrite on other grounds though. :P....i wish i was even close to10 percentage of being a perfect man :P :D

LooTe