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saheeba
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Posted on 03-13-05 9:31
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WHAT MAKES ME LONELY AND AGUISH IS NOT THAT I HAVE NOONE TO SHARE BUT THIS,I HAVE ONLY MY OWN BURDDEN TO BEAR. dedicated to onto one who lost their parents...i know it hurts it badly hurts when we lost someone.this one is dedicated to one who lost their parents.i will say it hurts coz i know what pain is. i dont know and dont wanna know wether my dad died for good reason or bad reason but i am sure what he did hurt me ,broke me and tore me apart.but despite of all those things i love him more and more each day.miss him more each day..this is to every single dad who loves their daughter. when i was small everyone use to say" छोरीको अनुहार र हाँसो त काटीकुटी बाबाको जसतै रहेछ।"at that time i use to feel so proud.i used to write poem and article as my dad used to .he was writer and reporter.my writing was about rainbow,sunsine,my dad mom,falling rain,smiling face.....and every poem i composed i use to rush or wait for my dad to show .and he use to kiss me in my forhead after he finished reading.and that was my precious gift. i loved my dad and mom more than anything in this world. i am only daughter they had and they never wanted more child except meh. and my baba use to say i am his son. i used to consider myself most lucky gal in this whole world. later all my hope,dreams ,love,happiness was shattered. police arrested my dad and was labelled as maoist.he wrote some article and poem related to maoism and all i knew that time was its bad to write.my small head only knew that much.later my dad was shot dead. he was labelled maoist and shot dead. i dont know why my dad did this to me??i also dont know if he ever loved me??if he did why did he choose something else beyond me.i am labelled as daughter of maoist .and nobody dares to write anything when their dad is killed as terrorist but i am not guilty abt my dad .i am just sad coz he choose politics more than me. empathy,compassion and concern human being are legacy and greatest gift a parents could leave a child well noww i am the unluckiest one. as i am sitting infront of my computer writing my venom ,anger on sajhaland.while every gal of my age enjoy flirting with guy laughing at stupid jokes ,talking and comparing boy with arjun rampal and brad pitt. whenever any guy smile and brings hands of friendship toward me i just do is ignore them as much as i can.if anyone gives me compliment i just gazed them with blue eyes. meh and my stern face which never smile. i encountered sudden drastic dip in graph of livnig when everything goes stale and flat enthusiasm goes stale and flat which never smile.i dont like smiling anymore coz i dont wanna look like dad. when i see my mom's smile brimming with tears in eyes .i rush to my bedroom buried my fac in pillow and wept cupious tears .all tears shed never shed first time.i ranged against god and at life and injustice at my mom. my mom is doc .she always go to hospital and cure patients but i wonder if their is any medicine which can heal my mom. sometime our prison are self impose.i like being on tears ,sadness,so noone can hurt me.. I HATE MAOIST !I HATE COZ THATS THE THING THAT TOOK MY DAD AWAY FROM ME.THATS THE THING DUE TO WHICH MY MOM SMILE WITH THROAT TIGHTENED TRYING HER BEST NOT TO CRY. I HATE MAOIST BUT I CANT STOP LOVING MY DAD.
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saheeba
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Posted on 03-14-05 3:07
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IndisGuise
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Posted on 03-14-05 7:27
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Fact or Fiction ? With due respect. IndisGuise:-0
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saheeba
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Posted on 03-14-05 7:51
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newuser
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Posted on 03-14-05 8:18
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Is any body that greedy not to sympathise this lady? If there's any one he/she must be stone hearted. However, I tried to remember the Maoist literateur with a doctor spouse. couldn't remember one, may be because of my lack of indepth knowledge about maoists leadership. I don't know if Krishna Sen's wife was a doctor. Anyway, if this is a real story, you shouldn't be too sadistic. Because what has happened with you is a past now. That cannot be overturned by any means. You should learn to recuperate. Time will heal the wounds. As for people not interested to talk to you, I dont think the world is full of mean people. You can get lots and lots of friends who understands you and your thoughts. Just for friendship, if we wish, here I am who you can count. lol. SO Get on with your life. Things will improve as time passes by.
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saheeba
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Posted on 03-14-05 8:31
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I DIDN'T WRITE THIS COZ I NEED SYMPATHY.I WROTE THIS COZ I WANTED TO SHARE WHATS WITHIN ME....MY BITTERNESS.I HAD TO POUR IT SOMEWHERE THATS ALL. TIME HEALS!YA WAITING FOR THAT TIME. THANKS FOR KIND WORD.BUT SORRY THAT DOESN'T HELP ANYMORE...AND DONT EVER DARE TO SAY ME POOR GAL.I AM NOT POOR AND I DONT NEED ANYBODY'S SYMAPTHY.
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newuser
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Posted on 03-14-05 8:36
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'Poor Girl'? Sorry if I said that but I didn't.
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saheeba
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Posted on 03-14-05 8:58
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i s any body that greedy not to sympathise this lady? this sound like that...sorry kind of very sensitive towards kind words.
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IndisGuise
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Posted on 03-14-05 9:15
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Newuser (daju/bhai or mitra) "Just for friendship, if we wish, here I am who you can count. lol." ---> Nice gesture, but your "LOL" was uncalled for. Ho ki ke ho? Anyways, I reckon your intention was genuine. Saheeba, I can only imagine how it must have been. Having said that, I know my imagination & understanding will not do justice to what you and your family must have gone thru & still are. I know you are not looking for any sympathy here in sajha & I respect that. Albeit, can not help but empathize with you and your mom. Anyways, here is a song for you.... दिल ना उम्मिद तो नही नाकाम हि तो है लम्बि है गमकि शाम मगर शाम हि तो है ये सफर बडि है कठिन मगर, ना उदाश हो मेरे हमसफर ये सितमकि रात है ढल्नेको है अंधेरा गम का पिघल्ने को जरा देर इसमे लगे मगर, ना उदाश हो मेरे हमसफर नही रहने वाली ये मुस्किलें के है अगले मोडपे मंजिले मेरी बातका तु यकिन कर, ना उदाश हो मेरे हमसफर कभी ढुंढ लेगा ये काँरवा के नयी जमिन नयाँ आशमां जिसे ढुढती है तेरी नजर, ना उदाश हो मेरे हमसफर My intention is not to offend you in anyway. Hang in there. Life is too beautiful to be wasted without few smiles and some tears. It is just that, tears came a lil earlier to you. Am sure, a wonderful world awaits you. Take care, IndisGUise:)
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newuser
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Posted on 03-14-05 9:54
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Dear Saheebaji, I like to take back my words that you felt I shouldn't have used. But my intentions were not bad even if I couldn't use the right words..That you should not feel lonely and aghast, and that we are here to feel pain for your sorrows. I understand the hard times of the family who have lost their loved ones, no matter they relate to the Maoists or Government or civilians. Our words do not help to comfort you but what else could we do. It all depends on interpretation and perception Indisguiseji, but have no doubt in my intentions.
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sense
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Posted on 03-14-05 10:17
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No matter how ur life has treated u, one thing is sure u gotta treat others (in this case newuser)kindly who has sympathy for u ..... atleast they deserve a gesture of thanks if not anything else.
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saheeba
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Posted on 03-14-05 10:45
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did i sound rude?didn't mean to. thanks newuser ji,insiguise,and sense for stopping by and jotting down ur kind words of empathy and sympathy . meant lot to me.
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ruina
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Posted on 03-14-05 10:46
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ruina
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Posted on 03-14-05 10:47
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harkedai
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Posted on 03-14-05 11:04
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Wat's going around in here now. Man man man did some one die ? I am sorry to hear that. God bless it whoever it is
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ruina
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Posted on 03-14-05 11:09
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hyaa harkedai padhnu sadhnu chaina pyachha bole pugyo:p man man man u kasto auu?!
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IndisGuise
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Posted on 03-14-05 12:09
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Saheeba, Name is "Indi.." .. "Indi sguiSe". Re kya :) And yeah.... Mentiona Nat. Do not hesitate it share/pour your bitterness, anger, fear & sadness. Dukha badda adda ra sukha badda dobber huncha re kya. La hai ta. Take care. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thanks Ruina. Appreciate it. IndisGuise:-o
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harkedai
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Posted on 03-14-05 1:40
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Ruina jeeeeeeeeeeee, k ko kasto ni, tetro laamo posting pani kasaile padhcha ta bhanya, lau love story nai bhako bhaye pani ho ta ni bhannu, Nirman bro ko jasto story bhako bhaye ta oho nai bhaninthyo ni hajur. K garnu chaani chaani padhne baani cha kya mero. eheheheheheheheheheheh Mahatma gandhi le bhaneka chan re kya Bura mat dekho, Bura mat suno, Bura mat bolo. (k bhaneko maile lau jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)
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ruina
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Posted on 03-14-05 8:55
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ek patak fursad milihalyo bhane padhnu ni nirman ko love story jasto romantic sequence ta paunu hunna. but ya u can know what pain and love is when u will read this... ani story nai napadhikana conclusion ma jump garnu hunna k........khoi k ho bhanchan kunni tyahi huncha:P Mahatma gandhi le bhaneka chan re kya Bura mat dekho, Bura mat suno, Bura mat bolo. hm! tini haru badar ho ni thaha cha?..gandhi ji k tin bandar;) anyway u are first one ...hehe;) ani k ho kina ni ruina jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee bhanera chichaunu bhayeko mero kan ko jalii nai ekchin jhanannnananna bhayyo.
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harkedai
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Posted on 03-14-05 9:51
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Ruina jee, hajur ko sujhab ko laagi dhanyabaad, fursad milyo bhane padhula ni. Khaas kura k bhane ni, din bhari ko padhai ko tension, kaam ko tension, life nai full of tension. Yeso ramailo ko laagi bhanera sajha forum ma aaincha, hya pani serious kura garne mood nai hudaina kya. I understand the seriousness of the posting but the think is I just don't wanna be serious, u c ? Mero kura le kosailai hurt bhayeko bhaye teshko laagi solly. I really apologise for that. Tara life ma sadhai serious matra bhayera pani ta hunna ni, kati serious hune, kati tension line. Life nai tension le bharine bela bhaisakyo. Sorry if I have said any thing wrong.
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