Hey all sajhaietes,
I have written a piece from my side. Can you Please read it and comment from ur side. If u want to read more..please post it I will continue it a series...I promise with twist and turns...:-)...anyways Write comments and U may share ur writings too....No boundaries...
here is a piece from me..

LOVE: UNSPOKEN
It was Friday. I still lied there still awake...Homework to be finished. Homework never fascinated me, the only reason I did it was to escape from the punishments. Also I have to finish it now, tomorrow we were to shift apartment. With my father working as whole-timer in a Communist Party at that Panchayet era, there was frequent change of places for us and continuous change of friends. With homework finished, I went to bed? there was whole new day ahead.
Strange eyes were peering into us as we transferred our goodies into our new dwelling. We were used to it with so much of shifting places. But I still remember those hazel eyes watching me as if I were a prince from Caribbean. There was much more works to do rather than watching back to those eyes, rooms to be cleaned and set up.
She was our flat partner's daughter. We were in other words next door neighbors. I think she was 7-8 in those days, I exactly don't know, never asked. After she saw me the first thing she told her parents was that she would marry me someday. With her mother so much chit chatter, the marriage thing was now widespread all over the flat within 2 days. With myself being only 11 years at that time, I was so irked by the fact of marriage. My entire cousin soon knew about this and my marriage was gossip of the town, and I simply hated her for loving me. My cousins would tease me every time I meet them, which irritated me more.
She used to come to talk with me; I would irritate her with my gawky voice whenever she came near me. I was petrified of gossip of marriage. I would confine myself whole day in my room on holidays rather than to talk with her. She was only friend available within the community but I was rather reluctant to speak with her moreover to be friend.
It was raining that day, I was just watching the drops of rain falling on the ground, wanting to go and get wet in rain but afraid that mom would scold. I didn't notice her but next thing I knew was she was just sitting next to me.
"Rainy day, huh??" she started the conversation.
"No, a sunny one, with sunlight everywhere." I started my mission.
"Do you like to get wet on the rain??" She asked.
"But where is the rain?" same gawky voice.
"I always like to play in the rain, it is so much fun." She stood up, and walked toward the rain, without even being irritated with my replies.
"That is what I also want to do" my inner soul told to me.
Without even caring of mom's tough rebuke, I also ran toward rain. Next thing I knew was we were playing in the rain, carefree and like flower children, the children of nature. We were all wet, all covered with the mud and all dirty, but who cared when one can have so much fun. That night I was thoroughly scolded by my mom. But that day, a friendship started, not to end I thought.

welll i dont know how am i suppose to use nepali font soo...
if u like it its okii if no than just ignore it...
jiwan le afai jiunu sikauncha.....
maile jiwan lai kahile pani sajilari liyeenaa....dherai boldaina thiye kam khusi lagee khissa hasthee rish uthee diary ma bhaye bhar ko rish pokhthee...tyahi bhayera mamu jahile eutai chinta garisinthyo ma afnu lagi ladnu sakdina bhanera,sano sano kura ma khayaal garisinthiyo...
bhagya le saathi diyera bhanum wa k bhanum tara malai saathi haru ahile samma sabai jana ramra chan...dherai kura nabole pani man ko kura bujeehalne...malai sabai jana le maya garthiyo sayaad tyahi bhayera hola ali kamjorr pani thiye .sano sano kura le man dukhihalthiyo ani muma sangha gayera royihalthe..
college jane belama sano galli cha tyha bata jada church niskincha ani jahile mam tyahi bata janthee ani ekchin church ma basera jesus lai niyalera herthee ani man bata kura gardai basthee....tyo bato dherai manche dhiddai na thiyo tyahi bhayera santa ,ananda lagthiyo.
college sakiyo sabai jana saathi haru afnu kam ma masta hunu thalee maile pani kehi garnu thiyo bannu thiyo tyahi bhayera baba lai bahira padnu janchu bhane ..baba le huncha bhanisyo...mamu le manisyeko thiyena mamu lai mana a,samjahye ani man nalagee nalagee huncha bhanisyo....
jane din ayo...sabai jana saathi haru bhetnu ayee .mamu ko akha ma lukeko asu dekhihalthiyo..ma snagha bata lukaunnu khojisthiyo tara pakdihalthe,,bhai haru pani tyati boleko thiyeena ,baba udash hoisinthyo....malai tayti bela samma pani mahasus nai bhayena ma bahira janu lageko jasto...
tika lagaidisyo,angalo marisyo tara sakee samma kohi pani royeenan mero agadi...muma saman linchu bhanera maathi gayisyo,bhai haru motor ma gayera basyo ani airport tira lagyau....bato bhari santaa bhayo...baba bela bela ma kura nikalnu khojisnthiyo tara 2-4 sabda matrai niskinthiyo ...hajur,nai,ho......santa anii....airport pugyo sabai jana lai bidai garee ani airport bhitra chireee...taba ballla mahasus bhayo bahira jadai chu banera.....aba muma ko kakh runu lai paundina,room ko dairy ma rish pokhnu paundina bhanera........
tyaha bata pahila agadi nai badnu garoo bhayo ,farkera muma snagha bessari runu man lagyo.....bato bhari,airplane bhari....ashu thamidai thameena....ekloo mahasus bhayo..saathi pani thiyeena kohi ..muma ko kakh yaad ayo,baba ko udas muhar yaad ayo....bhai snagha sano sano kurama gareko jhagada yaad ayo........church yaad ayo...room yaad ayo....mamu ko akha ko asuu yaad ayo........
ahile ta 2 barsa bitisakyo....runu parda muma ko kakh paundina .....afailai samhalnu sikeko chu...afnu khutta ma uvina sikeko chu....baba ko akhako tara banna sakeko chu,mamuko asha banna sakeko chu....ahile tyo din samjhida maile thikkai gare jasto lagcha.. ...ma nepal farkida ma sangha muma ko akhako asu ko jawaf hune cha baba ko biswas ko kadar hune cha..mero bhawisya hune cha.......

the start is captivating. it draws the reader in; i am looking forward to the next installment.

what i like so far:
1) your choice of anecdotes makes it believable and real (dont know if this is a work of fiction). at a more subtle level, i think your anecdotes also made me remember my own days as an adolescent, so you are able to make the reader identify with you, which is always good.

2) details. you have paid some attention to detail. however, you can improve it by including some more. i also like your choice of dialogues.

Ramro cha Niraman... Baki ansha pani jawoss :)
Satye katha ho ki Kalpanic pani bhnnu hoss :)
*********************

Ruina... timro kaha ni sunera pahila :(... ani :)
Ramro cha.. Ajkal diary ma popkdaina ta riss :p....
Na bhaye malai pokha... ma volunteer garidinchu :)

Waiting for more........
IndisGuise:)

thank u ramro cha bhaneko ma......
well ajkal pani pokhchu tara jo sangha rish
utheko cha uslai pani pokhchu khapera basdina pahila ko jasto
..ani thanks voluntere hunchu bhaneko ma...tara feri hajur laii pani diary lekhnu paryo bhane
hosh ma afai lekhdai baschu..

...............................................................................................................
well i forgot to comment on nirman ji article .......its good.keep on writing nirman ji.

it had been a long time that we were bored with some out-of-line topics, now this is something refreshing...

Aru pani jawos....Nirman keep on building ur story jhakass cha
Ruina...so simple yet so powerful...I know ever life is a good story to tell. Share some more if u have any;)

Hey people,
thanks for ur nice comments...i really appreciate ur valuable comments..for me that is work ofsemi fiction...partly real life...partly my imagination...i m just working on it...aani office ko kaam sangsangai garna garho chha tehi bhayera aarko lot aauna lai 2 4 din lagchha hola..please wait for 2 3 din..i ll complete and post new one...thanks for comments..and keep posting people..i really love to hear from u too...
Thanks once again
Love,
Nirman

Well written ruina..keep other works going..is it fiction or ur real thing...hope to hear from u soon
It real is good to see such good writing...pleaase post anything u write people..we are here to learn...not anyone is professional..we all are amateurs...hope u ll post more...

don know what am i suppose to say....
no comments...afai guess garnu la..real ho ki imaginary...

I don't know..aani mero guess sandhai ulto hunchha...well i guess it is for real..but i just don't know..tmi aahile kahan bhanyo bhane guess garna sajilo hunchha ni..;-)))...anyways keep posting

hmm maile post garnu thalee bhane taa yaha sabai bharincha
hehe aru lai pani chance dinu paryo ni ....
anyway its real.......
arko patak chai imaginegarera lekhchu ani
hajur comment garnu la kasto cha bahnera

hehe yeah ruina arulai pani chance parnu paryo..I m also working on my stuffs..will post more to that above series....aani i willl sure comment on ur writings..tara pahila posting garnu paryo ni...:-))),...anyways keep posting..

I used to write diary, ages ago... these days, am stranger to all my past, vises :)

Ruina, try meh, I could be a diary that can actually talk :p, now howz tat for a diary ;)

IndisGuise:)

(P.S : its good that now u've learned to stand up for urself though. Nrmaan, alik chado jawoss)

Hmmm i once tried doing this...but somehow the things were so personal that...i was like what if i die and people read it...hmmmm. Kinky thoughts. LOL.

ohh my talking diary......hmmm let me think abt it.......
nah ...kind of bad idea i guess....
i have to write another diary to talk abt talking dairy and it would take my so much time...

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Let this talking diary begin Ruina's personal riss utheko episodes haru....

Where shall i begin? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.. shall i tell the incident where u were angry at ur best pal when she dated the guy u had hots for? :p
Darn u really WROTE a lot in me? ;)

laaaaaaaaaaaaa plzz laa ma tyati naramro pani chiana
malai man pareko manche le malai man naparayera aru lai man paraunee
hehe......
talking diary ta jhuto jhuto bolda raicha...
dhat timi ta..ma pokhdina aba timi sangha rish ..........nabhayeko nabhayeko
lekhda raichau..... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

la saathi haaru i have just finished my second lot..posting it for comments...pahile ko baata nai continue hai..aani kasto chha comment dinu..i ll post more..tyo bhanda aagadi pani lekheko chhu..series continue garaun ki nagaraun..any suggestions???

here is continuation of my last one..

************************************

She was cute (I don't know if she was beautiful, but as a child she was cute), talkative, carefree, and yeah intelligent (She was first in her class), but above all her company was good enough for me. We used to play all sort of things Chor police (only one chor and only one police, and of course I always win), hide and seek, and those bhadakuti(that I didn't like a bit, but there was no option either, it was all give and take).
I still remember those hide and seeks. Once I hid into my room's almirah, where I knew she would never find me. But next thing I knew was I was locked inside. Dark and helpless, I didn't know what else to do. But I was rather reluctant to call for help; at least I didn't want to become the seeker. But after about half an hour I felt scared to death. Temperature growing and suffocating inside, I knocked hard on the almirah door. Moments later she came into the room.
"I got u", She shouted, without coming near being afraid of that dhyappa.
"HELL YA, but I' m locked inside", I cried frustratingly.
"Wait a moment, I'll open it" She tried unsuccessfully.
"I think I m gonna die here inside." I urged the urgency.
"No, you won't, who else gonna marry me??" She said innocently, starting sobbing.
She tried once again, but infuriated and frustrated with failure, she began crying. I myself was helpless inside, tears flowing down my cheeks, I didn't know the way out. I started weeping too. I just remember to that point.
May that be a sheer luck, but my mom returned from market as she has forgotten to take enough money. Seeing her crying outside the almirah, she at once opened the door. White and pale, I was there, unconscious. I was rushed immediately to the hospital, where I regained my consciousness. As the matter was not that serious, I was admitted for a night for observation and was back home next day.
She was sitting there on stairs, eyes red and swollen with all night crying, pale than when I was unconscious, waiting to see me back and alive. As soon as I reached the gate (I was walking, with zeal to show my parents how tough I am), she ran towards me and more than that she hugged me in front of everyone.
"Oh My GOD" Heart pounded blood into my head, numb and red faced with shame I stood there watching all around me laughing.
But she was still hugging caring less for laughter, she was so happy to not let me go away again. I tried to get free from her grip and as soon I succeeded, I ran toward my room, furious and embarrassed of her hugging.
I didn't spoke to her for next 10 or maybe 15 days.

************************************

its so sweet nirman ji..
i feel like its my story ......but i should be in place of that guy..
k ho hajur lai mero talking dairy le khusukka bhaneko ta hoina hai yo story..
anyway.........its great story...feels like real one.....clap clap clap clap...

hoina..i m writing it with my own point of view...heerum k k aundai janchha..hey aani tmile kehi naya lekheko chhaina..chha bahne post gara na....aani malai Nirman ji nabahnau na...I feel odd...nriman is more frenly..at least we can call each other fren ni hoina??..keep writing and keep posting..:-)..i will post more soon..