hi i am married with us citizen. we got married before 15 months but i got my iv visa just 2 months ago and now am here in us but and i have my green card and social secury number. my problem is i don't have any relation with my husband we just got married so that he can halp me got here and now its being so bad he treats me bad make me feel bad all the time so i wanna divorce him . what happens to my green card and ssnumber plz advice.

reese my first suggestion to you is you've got to find help from the law. if he is physically abusing you; call the cops right after the incident. make a report and save it to submit to the immigration later.
if you do not act bold and do not do something good for yourself you aint gonna feel safe, never. you will be scared all the time. Tell him you cannot live with him anymore. Be bold. if i were you i would not have worried about the gc at the moment. i would rather have preferred my normal life back than the misery that i would be in. Go to the local court house and file divorce.
Good Luck!

Little abuse today and little tomorrow can be a big abuse one day God forbid something really bad happen to you. IT is never too late to take some bold step and let that crip know that you are not helpless.

I have told you earlier and i'm telling you one more time; don't worry about your green card. You can keep it. get some bruses, call the cops, make a charge, get a no tracepassing or restriction order and go find a lawer who will file a case for you. You can just go yourself to the Ins office and file some forms. I have read some articles about some women organizations helping foreign girls in special cases like these. Do not worry and call the cops asap....
where are all the US graduate feminist ladies who brag about their education here. It's time to help your sister out. Or shut your pie hole braging about feminism, for once and ever if you gonna keep your peace on this case where a Nepali women is being a victim.

Hi,
Hope this info is useful. Act now before something bad happens.

Spouse: You may self-petition if you are a battered spouse married to a U.S. citizen or lawful permanent resident. Unmarried children under the age of 21, who have not filed their own self-petition, may be included on your petition as derivative beneficiaries.

To be eligible, the self-petitioning spouse must:be legally married to the U.S. citizen or lawful permanent resident batterer. A self-petition may be filed if the marriage was terminated by the abusive spouse’s death within the two years prior to filing. A self-petition may also be filed if the marriage to the abusive spouse was terminated, within the two years prior to filing, by divorce related to the abuse.

For details, visit:

http://www.immigrationvisausa.com/abused.html

http://www.masslegalhelp.org/domestic-violence/immigration-rights

seems like trying to fool all the ppl who post on sajha(?) girl can kick out a guy on the ground of domestic violence. so don;t worry and call 911 and tell that u have no money the guy will b paying u for all your expenses for support .anyway it;s much easier for a girl if u know some tricks .. and then find a decent nepali guy .(with your green card u can choose among nepali guys)

nothing, you won the lottery

YOU know. She never said she is being PHYSICALLY abused. You cannot apply as a battered spouse if it is just Verbal Abuse.

abuse is an abuse; verbal, mental, physical, sexual , whatever... he's kickin her out of the apt in middle of night... must be blackmailing her for sex and other favors , which is a rape...
by the way reese: if he's blackmaling you for sex, forcing you for anything even if you do not feel like it.. it's a rape.. you can put that hobo for few years behind the bar for that, just so you know....

Reese, do you have bank accounts together or joint assets? Photos of your life together? friends that you spend time with? Mortgage or rental agreements? Joint Auto Insurance and health insureance? Gather as much documentation that you can that your marriage is for real and make photo copies. It sounds like you are a legitimate couple even if it is not going well. In that case you CAN divorce and you can apply to renew your greencard based on the fact that your marriage was in good faith but it was terminated due to reasons out of your control. Your husband is wrong that he can take your green card away. US citizen husbands say this all the time to get what they want but it is not true.

Good Luck!

Thanks everone! well i don't have anything attach with him i meAN BILL OR ANY THING NO JOINT A/C AS WELL. i only have marrige certificate we don't even have pics together, and yes last time he hit me i had some bruses but don't have anymore and from that time he promissed me he will not hit me anymore and till now he is keeping his promiss . and about sex we don't have any sexual relation and he is not abusing me in that. only problem is he is contral freek he tries to control me everything i do . and when we talked abt divorce he said if we divorce saying marrige was in good faith then he will be my sponser till 2 year or till the time i don't get my pp or i don't no what coz right now i have gc for 2 years only and he don't wanna be my sponser for 2 year so if i try to divorce him he said he is gonna say marrige was in bad faith and he was being used then he can deport me.so i have no idea what to do????????

YOU DESERVED IT. I CAN'T IMAGINE A PERSON WHO STOOP SO LOW JUST TO GET GC!

palpa10 where is your reliable source from that these kinds of actiivities are going on so easily and freely?

do u have to ask for a source?

u konw it's happening...
are u trying to deny it?

what do you mean by saying i'm denying it? i don't know such thing happen so freely and in large scale. i have heard of it but it was just a huss huss and maybe i thought it was just a one in a million case. so i don't know about the exact number that these low scumbag people are doing these in so many places and astonishing figures. this really gave me a hell of a scare.
this is a shameful practice and should be stop.

The green card one gets after getting married to a US Citizen is normally a temporary one for two years and before it expires, you have to file extension for it. You have to file Condition Removal before the green card expires. It has to be filed either together (with your husband) or alone (only if you are divorced)

You can do a little search.. from your state govt court info websites. Go to the Family Law Section of Self Help..

As for not having money for lawyers, you can search for Pro Bono lawyers in your area and they can help you with minimal fee (well you have to pay the filing fees atleast)... Getting divorce is easier if you have no children and no joint property.

i would suggest you to be positive. try to adjust with him. do whatever he says. ek thappad galama hanyo bhane arko gala pharkaideu. ek latto hanyo bhane, arko pani han bhana. bear all the domestice violence, keep it up. when u get your time, then rub his nose with your foot and get the hell out of their and find a new nepalese boy. Make sure when u get rid from him, don't suggest any nepalese girl to get married with american assholes......... there are still thousands of genius and potential nepalese boys in USA. god bless you
good luck.

call sanjay dutta n tell him to give both ya'll a hug

Palpa is right.. What can poor immigrants from a country like Nepal do. Even our celebreties run off and file asylum. You see Army Cornells, Dsps of police, high ranking officers - all workingin gas stations. This is America. Immigration starts with lies and ends with green cards for most of the immigrants.
No absolutely , Reese should not put up with anything. Tell your husband that if he wants to deport you , then you'll tell police and BCIS that he abused you. Beat you up , and now calling marriage a fake. He will face assult punishment and felony to marry someone just for the purpose for green card. Worse come worse you'll get deported but he'll go to jail up to 10 yrs, and will have a fked up history and no one will hire him or give him apt..
He knows those things, but is just emotionally scaring you. Blackmaling you. Don't be scared. I am glad to hear that he's not sexually abusing you. Thats a big relief. Well he didi beat you up. Next time he does something like that call the cops asap.
Don't worry about your green card. Your green card is secure if he's a physco and abuses you. I have seen marriages ending in 6 months and the judge let him ( it was a guy) keep the green card....
Americans are the most sympathetic people i have seen in the world. They will let you keep the green card. Read the posting above. Someone was nice enough to copy paste what th elaw says about this.


PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING

**************************************************
**********************************************************************
BIG THANKS TO NATASHA:

Spouse: You may self-petition if you are a battered spouse married to a U.S. citizen or lawful permanent resident. Unmarried children under the age of 21, who have not filed their own self-petition, may be included on your petition as derivative beneficiaries.

To be eligible, the self-petitioning spouse must:be legally married to the U.S. citizen or lawful permanent resident batterer. A self-petition may be filed if the marriage was terminated by the abusive spouse’s death within the two years prior to filing. A self-petition may also be filed if the marriage to the abusive spouse was terminated, within the two years prior to filing, by divorce related to the abuse.

For details, visit:

http://www.immigrationvisausa.com/abused.html

http://www.masslegalhelp.org/domestic-violence/immigration-rights

reees and et. all, need to read the another thread of sajha:

Marrying for GC only
There are 23 posts. Showing last 20. CLICK HERE TO SEE ALL REPLIES TO THIS THREAD

[ORIGINAL POSTING] I have seen a lot of Nepali guys married ...[CrystalCracker] 01-27-07

yea,student life suckz a big time ,worki ...[dilute] 01-28-07
DILUTE BRO GOOD THOUGHT MAN. I AGREE WIT ...[MIKMAR] 01-28-07
ha ha ha ha ha ha i heard you mikhamar. ...[ab_belial] 01-28-07
mikmar and dilute. You guys rock. It's h ...[TringTring] 01-28-07
Donâ??t most people know how life as a s ...[paRelA] 01-28-07
It's s bit different story with me and m ...[Bob Marley] 01-28-07
Bob Marley i hope you didn't smoke a pot ...[mikmar] 01-28-07
Mikmar I didn't say that everybody who ...[Bob Marley] 01-28-07
I agree with dilute and mikmar. Quit wor ...[dyamn] 01-28-07
The bottom line is if you marry for gc h ...[mikmar] 01-28-07
Mikmar can't disagree with u again. ...[TringTring] 01-29-07
well i read all the comments and i truel ...[shrestha456] 01-29-07
Ha Ha Ha Ha............................ ...[mikmar] 01-29-07
Looks like a good topic and throw some o ...[nepsysinc] 01-29-07
VERY HIGH THUMBS UP TO ALL ...[dilute] 01-29-07
You can buy a Green Card from a Mexican ...[Khaobaadi] 01-29-07
remember if you make "serious stuff" in ...[Birbhadra] 01-29-07
Khaobaadi ji , that's just a quick fix f ...[mikmar] 01-30-07
correction: ( about the situation and co ...[mikmar] 01-30-07
I appreciate all the comments... I reall ...[Antim Grahan] 02-01-07

Enter Emails
Enter emails separated by commas.
Enter your Comments
Your Email


Name Post [VIEWED 1399 TIMES]

CrystalCracker Posted on 01-27-07 9:56 PM Reply
have seen a lot of Nepali guys married to divorced american women just for a Green Card. And recently, increasing number of Nepali student- girls are falling in love with American guys and marrying just for a Green Card.

How can you marry someone just for a Green Card? Is it that much of worth? Where are our values? Isn't it like seling sex for a green card? Common guys, you are in USA means almsot all of you are well educated. Even if you can't stay in USA because of visa, you will be able to market yourself anywhere in the world. Why do you need to do so?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dilute Posted on 01-28-07 1:53 AM Reply
ea,student life suckz a big time ,working and studying and paying university bills without help of parents is a great zob indeed ,what to aim for, work n work n work just to survive ,and study and the gpa suckz at the finals then what next, no H1 ,no schlorship,nothing more .F1 is just like fcking 1 for me ,I have seen too many seniors graduate frm university but out of status right now then,everyone is not eienstein here nor they r scorates ,and everyone is not studying here in presendential schlorship or something ,u know what every semester average 4000 students came in this red indian land having qualification of 3 rd div to board 1st ,and everone knows how much pressure is there for a nepali guy n gal in studying in US,mero chora ta US ma yo gardai cha mero chori ta doktor bandai cha ,ganta how can they see real life here ,if u choose to married to someone american and have GC I m ready to go janti of everyone ,yeaaa ,I just wanna said b positive in life ,everone is different and he n she acts different ,even ur fingers of ur own hand r of different lenght then....let them decide what they want to b,no one is here to talk and decide future of others


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MIKMAR Posted on 01-28-07 4:11 AM Reply
ILUTE BRO GOOD THOUGHT MAN. I AGREE WITH YOU TOTALLY. I GOT MARRIED TO A US CITIZEN NOT BECAUSE I WANTED A GC BUT I REALLY LOVED HER AND I THOUGHT THE RELATION WOULD WORK, BUT NOW IT IS COMMING TO AN END, SHE DOEN'T WANT TO RECOGNOZE MY CULTURE. DO HELL WITH THAT. I AM GETTING CLOSE TO 100G'S AS A DIVORCE SETTLEMENT.I AM GOOD. BUT ANY ONE OUT THERE WHO WANT'S TO MARRY FOR GC AND WANTS TO MAKE YOR LIFE BETTER GO A HEAD,BUT
YOU NEED TO KNOW HOW PLAY THE SYSTEM. DON'T LET THE SYSTEM PLAY YOU. LIFE FRICKING HARD IN US NOT EVERYONE HAS SCHOLARSHIP OR A RICH PARENTS WHO CAN FUND EDUCATION ABORD.DO WHAT'S BEST FOR YOU. GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.HEY DILUTE DROP ME AN E-MAIL IF YOU LIKE. THANKS FOR READING EVERYONE.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ab_belial Posted on 01-28-07 4:39 AM Reply
a ha ha ha ha ha
i heard you mikhamar. i have lots of pal fkup on that situatib but that is just hillirious........you should know before marriage that there will always be a clash between a culture.
it's not worth it.....
waste of time
later


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TringTring Posted on 01-28-07 9:41 AM Reply
ikmar and dilute. You guys rock. It's hard to find honest folks these days but hypocrites.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

paRelA Posted on 01-28-07 10:28 AM Reply
on’t most people know how life as a student is going to be once you get here? I know people who came here knowing they would have to support themselves. They knew they couldn’t ask their parents for any financial help and they knew they would have to live up to their parent’s expectations. They study hard, maintain their gpa and because of that they get some help from the universities. They don’t waste one day’s hard earned money by “steaming it off” in one night with their friends. They don’t waste their money on unnecessary things, such as cigarettes and alcohol.
Granted not everyone’s situation is the same. A person has to do what he as to do to make it work. If you want to marry a citizen to make your life a little better go ahead and marry him/her. But don’t sit there and lie to yourself by saying you had no choice; you had to marry him/her. There are always choices. Don’t do anything that will shame you in your own eyes in the future. You have to be able to live with your decisions and their consequences. Only you can understand your circumstances and you knew you had to do what you had to do. I apologize if this offends some, but I am just saying as I see it.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bob Marley Posted on 01-28-07 1:48 PM Reply
t's s bit different story with me and many more friends that I've seen, who are happily married. This is a advise to the coming generation of Nepali students. If you fall in love with an American and want to marry her/him, please show her/him everything about your culture. Don't bother to show the good one, he/she will figure out eventually. Show only the bad ones like Corroption, selfishness,politics, history, religion (a must), culture, poverty and CASTE (a must) and all the bad things you know are bad in our country. If he/she doesn't get scared and don't mind with it, then you're pretty much set to go. If not, then leave right away.I've been married 5+ year and no problem at all. She respects and have learnt a lot about Nepal and Nepali, good ones and BAD ones too. She cooks Nepali food too incase you were curious. She converted to our religion without my pressure, her free will and I've never entered a church (in case you're scared like many other ignorants). An architect in US will not fall in love with a cave woman, just incompatible in every definations. In a free society, you get who you are. If you meet someone in the bar, then don't expect too much from here. You shouldn't be thinking about marrying her in the first place and should not be there in the bar at all to pick up chicks to marry. Love and using him/her is two different thing. Just beacause we're Nepali doesn't make us better than the rest of the world. If you're a crap, then your choices will be crap too. The're are many many open minded and good character American student in your college. The only thing is finding the right one at the right place, not in a bar or a stip club. Please don't expect her/him to cook for you everyday, stay home and rub your feet either. This is not Nepal.It also depends on how open you're to other people's culture and what are the practicality of your realtionship. If you're one of those stubborn bastard who thinks that we're better than the rest of the world, then conflict will arise no matter who you're with.
My 2 cents advise.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

mikmar Posted on 01-28-07 9:27 PM Reply
ob Marley i hope you didn't smoke a pot before you wrote that piece above.i agree with what you said about showing our culture before marrrying a foreigner.but , while people are in love they think they can bear whatever comes in between the relation, including culture, for some people it turns out to be wrong. in Americca more than than 60% fo the people get divorce do you count all of them stupid. " to make error is human but to forgive is divine". the main thing is you have to learn from your mistakes. just because some of your friends and your relation worked doesn't mean everyone else relation will work. going to a bar doesn't make you a bad person. another thing in a bar you see people from the street, to doctors to engineers , everyone who goes to bar are not necessarly bad people. if you met someone in bar what's wrong with that, if you get hooked up with a bad one then that too bad. you seems to be one of those people who goes to mandir and church to look for honeys, assuming that everyone who comes in a mandir or church are good ladies. lots of nepalese marry us citizens thinking the relation would work for some it does work for some it don't. for some people circumstances pushes them to marry a us citizen even though that might have not been the right choice. you have to be in that person's shoes before you judge that person. not everyone can go through 10 yrs of school just hoping to get a H1b and if you are lucky enough gc.some people choose the easy way marry a citizen hoping the relation would work and they can get gc. it's human nature to find easy way for any problem. i bet, some where in the corner in your mind you were also thinking about gc before you married your wife. think twice before you call some one stubborn bastard . man i can go on and on .................... all night about this shit any way i am going to end now............... thanks everyone.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bob Marley Posted on 01-28-07 9:50 PM Reply
ikmar
I didn't say that everybody who go to bar are bad people. When did I say that? You make up your own theory. You can say anything you want, but the fact doesn't change. My point was the chances of a healthy relationship by picking up a girl from a bar are slim. Do you agree with that? or NO?. Don't get me wrong when I say stubborn bastard. It means the other way too, Americans and also Nepali. And no I didn't picked my wife from Church or a mandir. I was only giving advise to the coming generation of students in case if they fall in love. If they're just for GC, then do it the right way. What's wrong with that. Have you got any?
You cannot justify the relationship going sour if you didn't do the homework, do you?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dyamn Posted on 01-28-07 10:02 PM Reply
agree with dilute and mikmar. Quit worshiping people just because they are not Nepali. We Nepali have respect for everyone, even Indians who look down at us for being Nepali get Royal treatment in Nepal. First of all we need to give up the slavery mentality. Green card is not everything, US education is not everything, money is not everything, power is not everything; we need to realize.
What is the reason that Nepal being so small exports so many students to the USA. Do you think Nepal really can offord US education to its citizens when even America can not provide full financial aid at this point.
This irrational culture of sending kids of USA and better schools in India is promoting corruptions in our society. We have become slaves of the corporate world like we never had in our history of existence. 28. 29 yrs old Nepalis just finishing undergrands in the USA. Can't work freely out there, work and get abused in Indian and Nepali businesses, pay tution by everything you make, hardly have enough money to pay your bills, most students even have their credit history screwed up lately. What is the point?
Most of my friends who stayed in Nepal are so happy now that i honestly jelouse. what is the point of the struggle. what do you want , a house, a car, a dog? you can get those things back in Nepal if you work hard. Plus no one will come up to you and ask where you're from and when you're going back? no international student advisor will be rude to you, no one can abuse you.... think about it...
you'll at least , have a personal life in Nepal.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

mikmar Posted on 01-28-07 10:41 PM Reply
he bottom line is if you marry for gc hope for the wrost and things get better from there.. make your plan ahead. if you just marry for the gc read the ins laws it's all in their website and plan a exit stragety how long it takes to get a gc and what's the time frame. If you plan good everything should go smooth. education is powerful but don't just go to school and spend rest of your life hoping to get a gc. if you can convince someone to marry you for gc, go a head and do it. but MAKE SURE YOU HAVE A GOOD PLAN, before you start the game, and always hope for the worst. thanks.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

TringTring Posted on 01-29-07 6:10 AM Reply
ikmar can't disagree with u again.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

shrestha456 Posted on 01-29-07 11:43 AM Reply
ell i read all the comments and i truely admire all of those. I have been in US for more than 2 yrs now and if i look back to what i have achieved and done i get nothing as an answer. All i did is go to school and work and hang around with friends. Just as most of the students do here. my visa will expire in few years and then the school will be done. being an F1 student is really tuff, you don't even get to work when you get a good offer from a company. you gotta wait for that f***ing work permit before you can work. and by the time you get it, the work doesn't wait for you. I am suffering from depression and i can feel that. can't help it, really want to get out of it but just can't come over it. talking about marrying a US citizen for GC, what's wrong with it? if u think u can deal with it go for it. don't care what others tell you , they are only jealous of you and are trying to be a smart ass when they talk about culture and all those stuff. i know somewhere deep down their f***ing head, they are thinking the same but they don't have the ability. the same people will come to you for help when you achieve what you got. why waste your life in F1 status when you know u can't really get what you want. The visa itself starts with "F" which is already F**ked UP.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

mikmar Posted on 01-29-07 12:12 PM Reply
a Ha Ha Ha............................ shrestha456 man you got it, you a re funny F-1 does start with F. another thing the feds knows that people would wanna change their status to a gc that's why there are laws in place like marrying a us citizen will give you a gc. if that didn't work for you try H1b if that didn't work find a sponser in a restaurant.................... on and on . if one didn't work use another one will sure work . use the system you should know how to use the system people. thanks.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

nepsysinc Posted on 01-29-07 12:54 PM Reply
ooks like a good topic and throw some of your own experience and attitude towards the social differences. I have been raised with a 'misconception' that americans do not have a close relations with their spouses and parents. My mom used to talk about the 'Church and the Christians' as if it is such a taboo that you never want to go near there. But after staying in this country for more than 10 years, I had realized and experienced that 'that is not true'. I found so many good americans that I want to learn from...so many of them who cherish the the time they spend with their children and parents more than my parents did for me or for my grandparents. Does that means everyone is good here and bad there...Hell no...and big no !! We all speak from our own experience but I sometime get angry just because my mom did not try to teach me the right lesson....Trust me...she is well educated and was educated in foreign country and is retired. All I can say about is that we have to be open minded about others and need to know more about them before making any 'harse comments'.

Same goes with the guys and gals who are trying to survive in this country. SO many of us had 'rightfully' said..'it all depends on your situation and your conscience'. I do not believe that getting married with Nepali is any different than getting married with an american. You can either make the relationship work or you cannot. Lets not judge people by their culture or nationality. I am old enough to 'at least' undersatand this much.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dilute Posted on 01-29-07 1:48 PM Reply
ERY HIGH THUMBS UP TO ALL


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Khaobaadi Posted on 01-29-07 8:16 PM Reply
ou can buy a Green Card from a Mexican for 55 $ in a Chicago's north side neighborhood.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Birbhadra Posted on 01-29-07 8:35 PM Reply
emember if you make "serious stuff" in life a joke then it might make your life itself a joke "seriously"

if it is the ONLY alternative for survival then do it otherwise don't,


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

mikmar Posted on 01-30-07 12:02 PM Reply
haobaadi ji , that's just a quick fix for a problem, if you get arrested with that fake green you are going to get a one way ticket to nepal.if you are willing to take that risk then go a head.onother thing if you legally want to work in us now a days they check your ssn and green card if it is valid, so that isn't a good idea. if you wanna work ilegally , which most of nepalese are forced to do , then it is just waste of $55 to buy that fake green card.
And Birbhadra ji, i can gurantee that deep inside more than 60% of the nepalese in us are suffering form depression and anxiety due to their status, how to make money so that they can put food on their table and at the same time fricking tuation fee for the next semester so that they don't get kicked out of the school and become out of status. we are forced to work ilegally as in F-1 status you are not allowed to work more than 20 hrs if you are lucky enough get the work permit. unless you wanna die of depression and anxiety only one way to survive is to atleast make fun abou the situation, so that you can vope with that situation.thanks


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

mikmar Posted on 01-30-07 12:04 PM Reply
orrection: ( about the situation and cope.) thanks


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Antim Grahan Posted on 02-01-07 6:35 AM Reply
appreciate all the comments... I really had a gr8 time reading it.

DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS BEING BEATEN OR ABUSED?

The New York Asian Women’s Center is there to help you!!
We provide FREE and CONFIDENTIAL SERVICES AVAILABLE IN 15 LANGUAGES!

FREE EMERGENCY SHELTER AVAILABLE TO FAMILIES.

Call TOLL FREE 24 hour hotline NOW at 1-888 – 888 – 7702 for HELP from the New York Asian Women’s Center or visit us on the web at www.nyawc.org.